All Over But for the Drive Home

Well, it's been a day. Only one of my appointments showed up - an immature brat more concerned with finding a way to support his way of life than his recovery. Oh, well. I did accomplish a few things this morning, such as finishing the second of four entries (10 sub-entries each) for my application for a permanent chaplain job here at the VA hospital.

On second thought, maybe I don't want this job. Guy just walked by dropping f-bombs all over the place. Think of the '80s cartoon The Smurfs, and how they talked, only replace "Smurf" with that wonderful word. Apparently he failed a drug test, failed to show up for appointments, and failed to let anyone know when he was coming in. Needless to say, he's no longer in the program and is out the door.

Sad, really. I keep having to remind myself that a person's emotional and psychological growth arrests when they begin their addiction. So I'm not talking to a 60 year old grandfather, I'm talking to a 19 year old trapped in a 60 year old's body that is beat up to the point where he might as well be 90. So that's one factor in what I just witnessed.

The other, putting aside all that gets brought along with the drug of choice and any potential co-morbidity (such as the individual using the drug of choice to self-medicate for a mental illness such as depression or bipolar or even schizophrenia), seems to be that of the human ego. I believe the ego to be the most destructive force on the planet, both to the individual and to society. When we fail to put our egos in check, we feel that the world (and everyone in it) should bend to our will and reward us just for being us. Nice idea, but obviously it's not going to happen. It's a far better thing to recognize that the only way we can improve our lives is not by running others over and getting our way, but by working with the systems and people around us.

Okay, I'm getting off my box. This entry is already getting too long, and you can see what happened the last time I tried to get fancy and trimmed down with a blog! It's time to call it a day, and I'm heading home.