You Know You're Part of the Gang When ...

Yesterday I started helping out with one of the least pleasant parts of the job - patient urine screenings. I was traumatized by an event that, for the sake of the faint of heart and tender of stomach, will go undescribed. Well, my new colleagues could not let news of that event go, so today I was given a very special gift. Apparently, hazing of the new guy has officially begun.

For the record, I'm assured that this is meant to be a paper weight, and the liquid is mere tap water with food coloring added for effect. I'm not opening it to check! Oh, and SATP stands for "Substance Abuse Treatment Program."

For the morning, I'm reading up on mental disorders and addictions. Caffeine intake has been relatively low, and I forgot my travel mug. The Styrofoam cups here resemble shot glasses in size, which I find odd considering this is a building filled with caffeine addicts. So I'm fighting to stay awake. I need to be on the ball to handle the intake of a new patient today. My first intake! I'm so excited. Or I would be, if I did not seem to resemble the narcoleptic Argentinian from the movie Moulin Rouge!