Well, That was Fun

Okay, without going into too much detail, let it be known that I screwed up. Maybe. Kinda sorta. I allowed a patient who exhibited suicidal ideations to leave my office. Of course, I'm not sure how I could have stopped him, since I was the only one here and he's built like a tank. Still, the boss said I should have stopped him, called the campus police, etc., while he was still on property.

So I've spent the last twenty minutes running around trying to get the local authorities out to his home to do a wellness check. Or, rather, I've worked with Annoying Coworker (God, please don't let him screw this one up!) and some other people in trying to get some help his way. The trouble is, the system seems more interested in CYA than actually doing something productive. I'm now wondering if I should work late until this is resolved one way or another.

I remember having a debate with my first chaplain supervisor as to whether or not one could prevent someone from completing suicide (that's the preferred term nowadays, as "committing" sounds like a criminal action). One of my chaplain colleagues said no, but he said yes, and to say otherwise was letting yourself off the hook for being responsible for your fellow human being. As one who has had both a fraternity brother and an ex-girlfriend complete suicide, all I can say is that hurts. I don't know to what degree I was / am still responsible for their actions, or for the actions of the patient who walked out on me today. What I do know is that I feel horrible. That and $4 will get you a latte at Starbucks.

I'm going home. I'm dreading coming in tomorrow.