I'm Trying. Honest to God, I'm Trying

... to work, that is. It's just that today is so ... irritating. No, that's not the right word.

Life-sucking? Mmmm, maybe.

How about uninspiring? Well, that will have to do until I can come up with something better.

I'm having fantasies about running away. From what I understand, that sort of thing is common in this place. I even heard at this morning's staff meeting that a surgeon has written a tell-all book that blasts the entire hospital staff and the government. Last anyone's heard, he now lives in Barbados, which probably says a lot. I checked it out on Amazon.com, and it's a vanity press publication. Which, again, probably says a lot.

Other than that, it's been more of the same 'round here. Patient problems, getting used to the new department, and wondering how long this job is going to last.

Right now I'm supposed to be working on an application for the position that I currently have. Yeah, mull that one over for a minute. Any normal corporation would probably say something like, "Hey, we like what you're doing. Here's a permanent position so you can keep doing it." Here, though, even though I've gotten high raves for the work I do, I am actually somewhat of a long shot to keep this job. Preference is given for veterans, people with disabilities, and (above all) veterans with disabilities. If you're a non-disabled civilian, forget it. At least, that's the message I've been getting here. It doesn't matter how talented you are. That's just the way things roll here.

So, in order to have a shot at this, I had to get my doctor to write a letter stating that if I failed to comply with my treatment for my bipolar-2, I would be unable to do the job. In other words, I have to prove I am incapable of doing the job, in order to get the job.

And then there's the paper work. There's a lot of it, and I really should be working on it now. It's just that I feel completely exhausted at the moment.

1 1/2 hours to go. I want to blog about something other than work, for a change, but today has been one of those "get under your skin and make you itch big time" kind of days.

More later.