In Recovery . . .

. . . from a very painful week-long new employee orientation. Technically I'm not a new employee. In fact, I've been told that I'll be training the new employees in my division next week! But, for this week at least, they consider that my being hired as a full time / with benefits (not to be confused with "friends with benefits" which is an entirely different - and much more enjoyable - thing!) employee requires me to go to orientation.

Our leader in this new type of torture - those of us who sat in the back of the room wondered if this was a replacement for water boarding - seemed to enjoy the sound of his own voice and would put in his personal stories about the hospital and previous places of work every 15 to 20 seconds. So what could be covered in a day and a half (at the most) ended up taking four days. And no, the other speakers weren't any better. Except the guy who was upfront with how unenjoyable orientation was. He got a standing ovation.

The worst part was when the main instructor spoke of the homeless as being a very dangerous patient population (in my experience, they aren't) who - get this - keep razor blades in the bills of their baseball caps! And if that weren't bad enough, he also showed a youtube video depicting a new type of gun that is disguised as a cell phone. He spoke of this gizmo as if it was being seen in the hospital on a daily basis. Fact is, no one has seen it in the United States at all. Ever!

Of course, this is coming from a guy who identified the first permanent settlement in America as being Plymouth, Massachusetts. Jamestown, Virginia was settled a full thirteen years prior and was never abandoned. In fact, the pilgrims were trying to make their way to Jamestown, but were blown off course by a hurricane and ended up on the rock.

But it's over. And I'm back in my office trying to figure out what's been done in my absence. Here's to hoping that next week is a whole lot better!

Read more!

Abandon Ship!

After a day filled with infighting amongst the crew of this here sinking vessel, the powers that be have deemed it necessary that we here scallywags may depart forthwith and in all due haste no more than and no less than fifty-nine minutes early than the usually appointed hour.

In other words, I'm leaving. And I'll be in orientation all next week, so I may not be able to blog much. Unless something really interesting happens, and I post from home. We'll see.

To the life boats!

Read more!

Arrrrr! or Arrrrrgh?

It's Friday, and One Ring and I are about to head out to her parent's home in Birmingham for the weekend. One of her friends is getting married, so tomorrow I will be spending the day dressed up and uncomfortable. My only hope is that the catering at the reception is good.

A pirate in a tie? I'm rapidly going from Arrrr to Arrrgh!

I should be happy, but today started out irritating and weird. During our morning meeting, it was announced that due to a dust-up over some of my colleagues taking personal time and finding coverage (There really wasn't a problem with coverage - someone just tried to make a point over how another employee shouldn't have gotten a promotion and failed miserably), we were treated to a speach from on high and treated like a group of children. Thing was, the guy who starting the whole problem? Yeah, he's on vacation today and didn't hear a word of it!

If this drama interferes with my trip to Disney World in two months, there will be hell to pay!

On top of that, next week I'll be in orientation for the entire week. Yes, I have to be orientated to do the same job I've been doing since August. Go figure! Annoying Coworker looked over at me with this lost puppy look in his eyes and said, "I guess I'll have to get with you at some point today and see how you do your job, since I'll be covering for you." Which wouldn't be a big deal, except for the fact that before I came on board, he was doing this job! Then he added that he would be taking over my office while I'm gone, so that he could be closer to the doctor. Needless to say, I'll be doing some spring cleaning in here, since he's also known to go rooting through the desks of coworkers. I've caught him a couple of times in my office already.

Need coffee. I'm far grumpier than I should be this morning, even considering what's transpired.

10:06 Finally, I have coffee. Took me a while to get everyone out of my office. The doctor asked my opinion regarding one of our new patients - a long time heroin user who lacks stable housing and employment. Not a good candidate for outpatient treatment. Made me feel good that she actually takes my views seriously, considering how poor a footing we started out on. I'm doing the work that a nurse should be doing, without any additional training, so occasionally things get tense around here. But lately all has been well. But after she left, Annoying Coworker had to be forcibly evicted so I could get to the coffee shop. Don't these people know the danger that they're in if they don't see a coffee cup in my hands first thing in the morning?!? Good thing they have a rule regarding no weapons on display in offices (no lie, there really is one - guess too many people wanted to mount guns, knives and swords here!), otherwise who knows where my caffeine withdrawal would have taken me!

Well, all that remains for now is to lie low and let the day slide by. My boss has announced that she's leaving very early, and Annoying Coworker and the doctor both seem to have busy schedules. Drink Man is in Nashville today until lunch, covering for another colleague. So hopefully this morning will be quiet and peaceful.

If not, there will be trouble.

Read more!

And Life Returns to Normal (Kinda Sorta)

I'm back at work; Annoying Coworker is back at work. The Doctor is back at work, and the patients are, sadly, back at work. My anniversary mini-vacation getaway is over, and I'm still trying to get back into the swing of things on day two of my readjustment period.

I'm listening now to the Doctor beat up a prospective patient. I can't really tell if she's angry at him, but given her nationality, her tone often comes across as highly aggressive. So sometimes I have to go behind her and translate for the patient - not linguistically, of course - but rather put her statements in a more neutral tone. Makes life interesting around here.

And it makes me wish I was back on vacation.

One Ring and I had a great time in Chattanooga. The B&B was wonderful, as it sits in the scenic Bluff View Art District. Our room was right above the Back Inn Cafe, where we had one of our meals - delicious! While there we spent a day at the Tennessee Aquarium, checked out the local art scene and independent bookstores, and made many visits to the coffee shop that was located way too close for us to curb our caffeine addiction!

On the way back, we met up with Whirling Dervish and his family at the Tennessee Renaissance Festival. I came away with mixed feelings. On the one hand, it was enjoyable to walk around and see the people who dressed up in various period outfits, not always historically accurate (there were quite a few people dressed as their favorite fantasy characters from Japanese animation or video grames). On the other hand, what was billed as "Pirate Weekend" had very little in the way of pirates. Sure there were some people dressed as pirates (always captains, never crew, and usually resembling Jack Sparrow), but there was very little else to suggest that this was the special event that it was billed as. Now if the pirates could interact with the Queen, or perhaps have a mock pillaging (or a real one, heck, I wouldn't complain!) of the vendor tents, that would have been nice. Alas, aside from one act on one stage stuck off to one side, there was little going on for pirate weekend.

Still, it was nice to see Whirling Dervish and his family. Hopefully we'll get back together with them soon.

Had my guitar lesson last night, and once again, Sarah McLachlan's music is proving to be much harder to pin down than I had originally thought. This time we worked on the solo portion of "Building a Mystery," as well as my trying to figure out the chord progression underneath layers and layers of guitar overlays. She's a creative genious, that's for sure. Hopefully I'll become proficient in it soon, but for now, jumping from a B minor chord to a G is slowing me down.

Okay, we have groups coming in a little bit. Time for me to catch up on paper work and get ready.

Sigh. I need another vacation!

Read more!

Sharkbait Update

I've removed Sharkbait's blog from the list of links over on the left. Not because he's torqued me off in some way, but because I can never tell if he's written anything on there - it's MySpace, which is blocked at work where I do the most of my blogging.

As a consolation / promo, I decided to replace it with a link to his photography business: Blue Seas Photography. He really is an amazing photographer, and has his first show from the end of June through August in Virginia Beach, Virginia. There's even a reception scheduled for July 9th. As you can see, he specializes in nature pictures, but he is also available for portraits, parties, and so forth.

Be sure to check out his website and order some pictures!

Read more!

Huh? What? Did You Say Something?

Sorry, I wasn't awake. Didn't sleep well. Kona the dog kept waking up last night, so of course I woke up too. Not sure what's got into her, but she seems to be moving into a pattern of sleeping all day and waking up at night. I suppose that means that we'll be walking her more and trying to wear her out. So she doesn't keep on barking and carrying on at 2 am!

Not much to report today. I have a group session to conduct in a few minutes, then the usual paperwork to carry me through the day. Hopefully it will go fast. Without Annoying Coworker around, things have been far more pleasant. I imagine next week will be far different.

One Ring and I are heading off for our anniversary trip tomorrow afternoon, immediately after I jump ship here. First stop Chattanooga for the B&B and some sightseeing, then on Sunday we're hitting the Tennessee Rennaisance Festival for Pirate Weekend! It's supposed to rain all weekend, sadly, but I'm sure it will still be lots and lots of fun. Because there's pirates, of course! : )

Speaking of pirates, check out Bilge Munky's blog for probably the most ridiculous item ever tried to jump on the fan craze of the last ten years or so - Pirates for Jesus! It looks like what you'd expect when a patriarchal family with self-esteem issues (and a puppet that insults the captain!) tries to turn the "take all you can; give nothing in return" philosophy of the Brethren of the Coast into a sanitized mess. According to a post on another blog regarding the same ministry, the head of the ministry lost his hand and leg in a motorcycle accident. He then decided to create the pirate theme for his message. Be sure to go to that other post - there's a video of the captain and crew in action!

Okay, time for me to get to work. Assuming I can wake up!

Read more!

Uhm, No. Not Funny at All.

Let me start this by saying that I am a major supporter of President Obama. Of course, I recognize that he's human, and he's going to make mistakes. But sometimes, even in times when he's expected to be funny and poke fun at people and situations such as last week's White House Correspondent's Dinner, he's going to fall a tad short of expectations.

Like this mock photo op, where he tied in his offer to meet with some of our less pleasant global neighbors, his receiving of a book from Hugo Chavez of Venezuela (in this case it was Peter Pan), and the pirate crisis off the coast of Somalia.

They went with speechwriter Cody Keenan to dress up as - who? Captain Hook? - the pirate in question. Are you telling me, though, that with the economy just now starting to climb out of the abyss that there wasn't one unemployed actor who could have done the job? What about all the pirate enthusiasts who dress up for festivals all over the country during this time of year? Surely someone other than a White house staffer was available!

Alas, the parrot was fake, too!

Here's the article. I got nothing.

Peace.

Read more!