Looking Good, Big Guy!

In distinctly un-piratey news (unless someone steals the movie, that is), Legendary Studios released some information yesterday about the new Godzilla movie. It's due out in 2012, and while that's still a long way off, it looks like everything is heading in the right direction. Maybe now all the G-fans of the world can forget about that 1998 Matthew Broderick train wreck! By the way, if you ever want to see Toho's "revenge" for that mess, check out Godzilla: Final Wars. The "real" G puts it down in about 10 seconds of film time! The American G ends up somewhere in this exposion:

With that little bit of business out of the way, we can all safely look forward to 2012 ... unless the Mayans (or rather the nutjobs who did a really lousy job of interpreting the Mayan calendar!) are right!

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12 Days Later ...

... after my last promise to blog more, here I am. Not a good track record, not by a shot with a long 9. But, never let it be said that a pirate is on time with anything! I sail with the tide, but that's about the only thing I manage to do by the clock. Feel free to add some more nautical themed statements excusing tardiness if you like, because I need to move on and get to:

THE FIRST EVER HORROR BLOGGER'S MEME!

Which, of course, I have modified where appropriate to fit the inside of my own warped psyche.

1: In Ten Words or Less, Describe Your Blog:

Whatever the heck I want to talk about today.

2: During What Cinematic Era Where you Born?
A: The Classic Horror Era (late 30's to 40's)
B: The Atomic Monster/Nuclear Angst Era (the late 40's through 50's)
C: The Psycho Era ( Early 60's)
D: The Rosemary's Baby Era (Mid to Late 60's)
E: The Exorcism Era (Early to mid 70's)
F: The Halloween Era (Late 70's to Early 80's)
G: The Slasher Era (Mid to late 80's)
H: The Self Referential/Post Modern Era (1990 to 1999)

I was born during the exorcism era, which had more of an impact on my parents than on me, in that it inspired all that "Satan is after our children!" fear of the 80s. I credit this for convincing my mother to repeatedly attack and destroy my Dungeons and Dragons books, my heavy metal cassette tapes, and comic books. Thanks Exorcism era!

3: The Carrie Compatibility Question:
(gay men and straight women - make your choice from section A)
A: Billy Nolan or Tommy Ross, who would you take to the prom?
(straight guys and lesbians - make your choice from section B)
B: Sue Snell or Chris Hargensen, who would you take to the prom?

Probably Sue Snell, although I had a really rough time in high school with dates. As a result, I probably wouldn't go to the prom at all, let alone with Sue! On the positive side, I'd end up living through the evening! Of course, being that she ends up somewhat crazy, I probably would have ended up dating her after prom. Yeah, I had that kind of track record.

4: You have been given an ungodly amount of money, and total control of a major motion picture studio - what would your dream movie project be?

I would make a Cthulhu movie that was actually good, and I would do it by actually sticking to the story, instead of tossing a few of Lovecraft's ideas into a blender and naming the film after a story that has nothing to do with the subject matter - I'm talking to you, Cthulhu! And you, Dagon! (Both of which had more "Shadow of Innsmouth" than Call of Cthulhu and Dagon, respectively).

5: What film "franchise" that others have embraced, left you cold?

The Alien / Predator franchises. The first Predator movie was good, the second was even better (Gary Busey getting cut in two earned bonus points). Alien was good, Aliens was excellent. But Alien 3, Alien: Resurrection, AVP and AVP: Requiem were all lousy. I haven't even seen Predators. I think the whole series jumped the shark a long time ago.

6: Is Michael Bay the Antichrist?

Absolutely. He should be stuck on an island with Uwe Boll.

7: Dracula, The Wolf Man, The Frankenstein Monster - which one of these classic villains scares you, and why?

Dracula. He's the only intelligent one of the bunch. Which means that dude can come after you in ways you can't imagine. None of that sparkly teen angst crap with this guy! He wants your blood and he's going to work every angle to get it!

8: Tell me about a scene from a NON HORROR Film that scares the crap out of you:

There's a part in Enemy of the State where you realize just how little privacy you have and how much of your life the government can destroy if they wanted to. Even though there's a "happy" ending to the film, there's still this feeling of dread. The fact that it was pre - Patriot Act makes it even more terrifying.


9: Baby Jane Hudson invites you over to her house for lunch. What do you bring?

Uhm, my own lunch? The woman serves a dead parakeet to her sister, for crying out loud!


10: So, between you and me, do you have any ulterior motives for blogging? Come, on you can tell me, it will be our little secret, I won't tell a soul.

I wanted a space to process my own theological ideas and talk about pirates. There was probably a desire to be noticed and get positive attention for my ideas as well.


11: What would you have brought to Rosemary Woodhouse's baby shower?

What do you get the son of Satan who has everything? : )


12: Godzilla vs The Cloverfield Monster, who wins?

Godzilla, hands down. Or paws down. Or whatever. We're talking atmoic breath verses the giant monster version of head lice!

13: If you found out that Rob Zombie was reading your blog, what would you post in hopes that he read it?

STOP DOING REMAKES! There's too many of them as it is.

14: What is your favorite HORROR FILM, and why?

Trick R Treat. I watched it again with friends last night, and loved every minute of it.

15: If blogging technology did not exist, what would you be doing?

Actually doing work, more than likely!

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Darn You, Ennui!

I'm at work. I'm bored. The doctor is out of town for two weeks, and today is one of those days that we normally reserve for her appointments and not for group therapy. No doctor = no appointments. So, I have roughly 7 1/2 hours to hang out, make a few mandatory phone calls, and twiddle my thumbs.

There are far worse things in life, I know. But if it's one thing that really manages to drive me around the bend, it's boredom. So now I need to find away to stay under the radar of my other boss and simultaneously maintain my sanity. Yes, I can hear you say, "Well, you've already lost that second battle!" Still, I have to at least go through the motions and ACT like I'm trying to maintain my sanity!

So here's the mid-month blog-a-rama update ...

Even though summer's in full swing, and this pirate's thoughts should be bending towards the Caribbean waters and rum drinks, my brain is actually skipping ahead to Halloween. No idea why, except it possibly could because it is so blasted hot that I feel like I'm about to spontaneously combust whenever I go outside. Humidity has been out of control ever since the floods hit Nashville at the beginning of May, too. And if there's one thing I can't deal with (besides boredom), it's humidity that's thick enough to walk upon. So I've been spending a lot of time indoors. I guess keeping out of the sunlight and in cool, dark rooms must be bringing out my inner goth!

So, pirates (temporarily) out. Wonderfully creepy stuff in. And there you go.

I've recently picked up a gig as a clay sculpting teacher at a local craft store. Polymer clay I mean, not the hard core, slam and turn on a wheel, Demi Moore in Ghost sort of thing. I figure that since the store rotates their stock based on the upcoming seasons and holidays, the next big change will be from summer to Halloween. So I've been looking on the interwebs for ideas to teach. Sadly, though, most of the stuff I'm seeing is all that cutesy stuff - ghosts and witches with big goofy grins, jack o'lanterns that couldn't scare away a spirit (that's what they were originally meant to do) on their best day, and vampires that look like they just stepped off of a Saturday morning cartoon. Sigh. I know that's what I'm going to have to teach, but isn't there something I out there that's sufficiently serious and spooky for my tastes? I did throw together a version of the bride character from the Haunted Mansion at Disney World. I even used glow in the dark clay. Sadly, though, when I baked it, colors in the clay ran in the thinner pieces (the veil, mostly). But it the dark, it looks pretty cool.










See? Isn't she scary?

Purists will note that I used a previous bride as the model. Eventually I'll sculpt one of Constance - the "black widow bride" - but I've always been partial to Emily. She's the bride that was supposedly the victim of a broken heart, although technically she was never a bride at all. She was betrothed to a wealthy newcomer who turned out to be a pirate (see, there's a connection after all!). He bailed on her, or was killed at sea, and she locked herself in the attic after donning her wedding dress. Her ghost haunts the attic, keeping an eternal vigil for the return of her beloved.

Yep, I'm a sucker for tragedy!

I've also come across a sculpture someone did of a raven and am planning on doing one of my own based on this work. I figure that it will either connect to the raven in the Haunted Mansion - the "Ghost Host" - or Edgar Allen Poe. Either is fine with me.

Okay, time to fake working some more. I've also been commissioned to fold 50 origami cranes, and have my guitar lesson today right after work. So I figure I can find enough to keep me occupied today.

More later.

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Not So Great A Pirate's Life for Some ...

Looks like some lame excuses for pirates ticked off the Feds again. As you may have figured out, based on how the Internet works, several websites started posting video files of new movie and DVD releases. Several websites were closed down, bank assets seized, and companies that advertise on those websites were also hit hard. Here's the story:

Feds crack down on Internet movie pirates, score bust

Of course, the websites and companies involved were all on U.S. soil. It's a lot harder to hit pirate websites that are overseas, or in nations that have less strict laws regarding copyright and intellectual property infringement. The Pirate Bay is still fighting litigation in Sweden, and would have been shut down a couple of years ago, were it not for the Pirate Party (Piratpartiet), a newly formed political party that won 7.13% of the vote in Sweden's parliamentary elections. Apparently, this has gummed up the works for Sweden's attempt to go after The Pirate Bay. Who would have guessed that pirates would go political.

Well, that's the latest from the world of piracy. Not as glamorous as stories of Blackbeard, "Calico" Jack Rackham, and "Black" Sam Bellamy, but I guess that's what we get for being born 300 years to late (to misquote Jimmy Buffet's "A Pirate Looks at 40").

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Game On!

After several years of rumor and speculation, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, has begun filming in Hawaii. Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightly are long gone and, to be honest, I won't be missing them at all. Will Turner is now Captain of the Flying Dutchman, and Elizabeth Swann is raising his daughter (see the post credit clip from POTC: At World's End), so I don't see how those characters can return - and since the actors who portray them don't want to come back, they aren't. But Johnny Depp is back, as are several familiar faces from the crew. Rob Marshall is directing, and Jerry Bruckheimer is producing. There's no way of knowing how this is going to turn out, though. In my humble opinion, the first POTC is still the best, and the sequels just got sillier and sillier as time went on. I love a good swordfight as much as the next fencer, but on a water wheel (POTC: Dead Man's Chest)? Really?

I read the book upon which this installment is based, and while it wasn't a awe-inspiring, life changing read, it was enjoyable. It also unexpectedly brought historical pirates such as Blackbeard into the setting, which was a nice twist that other pirate fiction (to my knowledge) had not. So I am looking forward to seeing what POTC does with Tim Power's novel.

Yo, ho! Yo, ho! It's still a pirate's life for me, it seems! : )

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Crazy Comments

I've had to disable my comments section of this blog, unfortunately. It seems that almost all of the comments that are left here are by Asian posters. Not that's a bad thing, of course, but these comments are not really comments at all, just random sayings (I used Babelfish to translate some) that are nonsensical. Tracking back to the posters' blogs revealed blogs that are devoid of posts, links, etc. In other words, they're probably spammers.

So the comments section is on lock down. I'd apologize for it, but since no one was posting comments that make sense anyway, it's no big deal to me. : )

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There and Back Again: The Monthly Recap

I think it's foolish for me to keep making excuses for not posting for a couple of reasons. One is that my work load has tripled over the last few weeks, and given that the only time I post is at work (I need to change that, but so far I haven't), the posting ain't gettin' done. The other reason is that I haven't had much to say. Yes, I have a child on the way (insert dramatic music here), and have made a list of all pirate inspired baby wear that I can find. Yes, I still read and collect pirate inspired stuff, and yes, I still keep up with the so-called pirate situation in Somalia (freebooters! They are freebooters! Just sayin'.). It seems when something blog-able comes up on my radar, by the time I have a moment to write about it, the issue is no longer as relavant or interesting. So I don't.

And my blog has become a place for simply keeping some of my favorite websites bookmarked in one place. And that's just sad.

So, in order to keep things rolling here and not have this blog go the way of so many other blogs that haven't had a post since 2007, Here is a review of what's been going on in the life of a land-locked pirate:

One Ring and I went to Disney World at the end of May for our babymoon (yes, there is such a thing, and I highly recommend it). We stayed in a nautical themed resort on property - the Beach Club Resort, which even has a shipwreck in a pool complex which is complete with a lazy river. Given the heat, One Ring's inability to ride many of the rides in the parks, and our mutual desire to avoid crowds, we spent many an afternoon drifting in the currents.

The shipwreck is actually a large waterslide that starts halway up the main mast, continues down the fallen mast, and ends up in one of the pools that connects to the lazy river.






And here is the lazy river.







Obviously we had a lot of fun. We were able to ride the Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean together (no problems for pregnant women on those rides, thankfully!), so I did get my pirate fix. And I did come very, very close to having a picture taken with Capt. Jack Sparrow. I got up to the line, only to be told that he was taking a break and would be back at 3 that afternoon. Sadly, it was our last day, and we were not able to make it back for the pic. Maybe next time. We were able to get a picture with "Pirate Goofy," and I'll try to remember to post that picture later.

Star Wars Weekend was also going on at Disney World while we were there. Let me tell you, I felt a whole lot less geeky about my obsession when I stood next to a bunch of fans who were foaming at the mouth to get a picture with Anakin Skywalker! And it wasn't even Hayden Christiensen, just some guy who looked like him! The same was true for Mace Window, though that was no surprise; I can't see Samuel Jackson hanging out in the Florida sun all day for fan photos.

Guitar lessons continue to go well. I'm having my guitar instructor build my next guitar, but won't be able to start that project until the fall. The plan is that I'll buy a kit (I'm going with the "RG" model, which is based on the Ibanez line of the same name.) from BYOGuitar.com, then send it over to him for the build, staining (I'm having it done in onyx, to give it a dark, menacing look, in constrast to the warm brown of my Laguna LE300.), and set up. We may have to replace the supplied pickups if they don't sound good, but I've found a brand that has gotten great reviews at a very inexpensive price. I should be able to keep that cost, if necessary, under $100. All told, the entire project should run about $400, which is less than most guitars and far, far less than custom builds.

I'm adding at least one or two more links to the side bar. One is Twisted Kaiju Theater, which is a 10 year running webcomic run by a guy with way too many Godzilla action figures and a quirky sense of humor. Some of it is NSFW, but it has been a great way to improve my mood during my lunch breaks. And since I grew up on Godzilla movies, this site is particularly enjoyable!

The next one is the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, which has made a full length, professional quality, silent film version of The Call of Cthulhu. They're currently working on The Whisperer in Darkness, which should be released soon. It's also the place where I received my honorary doctorate from Arkham University (it's in theoretical realities, in case you're wondering)!

And finally, I'm adding Day of the Woman, a horror blog by (gasp!) a woman about women in horror. Great reviews, commentary, and news about the genre.

Okay, I'm tired of typing. Now it's back to trying to avoid work until my next patient / victim arrives at 1:00.

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