Actually, I should be working. It's just that there's so little of it for me to do! Monday's are dead here. No new patients to visit, most of the staff is gone in light of the Fourth of July holiday weekend, so I've been chilling out here and - obviously - blogging. I'm also trying to catch up on some things that I've been meaning to put up here. Like my latest obsession, one that can only be done at Disney World:
I want to build my own lightsaber!
Okay, okay. Quit laughing. I'm know I'm not the only pushing 40 geek out there who never owned one but wants to relive childhood! Shoot, I bought a minister friend of mine a lightsaber when he decided to move and become the pastor of a large church in NC ("Ready are you, my young Padawan!" I said as he unwrapped the gift). And yes, he's a Star Wars fanatic so it was appropriate. One Ring and I also bought a friend of ours the Hasbro make your own lightsaber kit (which now gets $40 or more on ebay!). He likes the series, too, though no word on whether or not he ever used the kit.
Anyway, the time has come for me to get one, and I'm driving One Ring nuts by my constant answering of "building a lightsaber," whenever she asks, "What are you looking forward to the most for our next Disney trip?" We're going with Tigger and Pooh in October, btw. I'm trying to convince Tigger that he needs one, but I think he wants the $150+ Master Replica ones.
My obsession started when I found this blog entry, written by a Disney fanatic who went with her son to Downtown Disney's Once Upon a Toy store. The setup looks awesome, and the idea of building your own saber is just plain cool. Plus it's part of the Star Wars saga - every budding Jedi has to build his or her own saber! Not only that, but I'd like to have it in my office, and occasionally whack patients over the head when they say something annoying. 
They also give you a pin, and I collect Disney pins. Must have Disney pins ....
So that's the latest on my non-serious life. Our celebration of the fourth went well, though I developed stomach problems yesterday and couldn't go to kung fu. I'm having a really hard time making classes lately. I hope that I'm not asked to leave for lack of participation! Saturday we went to Smithville, TN for a town festival with Whirling Dervish and his wife. Had a good time though I nearly melted in the heat. I was born in Massachusetts and lived for a short while in Siberia; I do not like hot weather! One Ring bought some earrings and I bought a print that has the Chinese character for eternity. Very cool. We're going to look for frames for that and some other prints we own soon.
Okay, time to find more work to do. The fun thing about being a resident is that they really don't expect you to do all that much. In fact, I've had more people express surprise when I do my job than not! Not that I normally don't do my job. It just seems that residents aren't expected to work. Odd, when you stop to think about it.
My application for the Addiction Therapist job went to HR today. I've been given a time frame of 2-4 weeks to hear a response, and most of the people in the department don't see any obstacles to my getting the position. However, knowing this facility, I am taking nothing for granted. Until I get it in writing, and my first paycheck in hand (or in bank!), I'm not assuming anything. Still no word from the Hospice agency. I should hear something this week. We'll see.
More later.
Monday, July 7, 2008
It's Monday - I'm Not Working, So There!
Well, This Should Stir Things Up!
According to a New York Times article, a stone tablet found years ago in the Dead Sea region of Jordan has finally been translated. And what a translation it is!
Apparently, it is the first pre-Christian source to speak of a messianic figure who dies and is resurrected in three days, defeating the evils of the world through the act of self-sacrifice. The big question is: how will this affect Christianity?
At issue is the question of uniqueness. Is the resurrection of Jesus a unique, historical event, or was it part of Jewish beliefs prior to Jesus' day? And should it even be seen as a historic event, or as a metaphor / myth that points to something else? Perhaps we need to start with the question of what is a messiah, and what does it mean to anticipate the coming of one (or the return of one).
Alas, I'm going to have to wait until I delve into this one. I need coffee and I have work to do!
So read the article and let me know what you think.
A Response, of Sorts
As a rule, I don't publicly respond to comments that people leave on the blog. I have that policy for a couple of reasons. First, hardly anyone leaves comments! Second, I have the advantage here, in that my words appear on the main page of the blog, while a comment has to be sought out. So in all fairness, if I'm going to respond, I pretty much email the person who leaves a comment and let it go at that.
However, there was a comment left on my post Burnout, Spirituality Style that I feel I must respond to publicly, simply because I fear my words were misunderstood and it might have appeared as if I was advocating something I actually oppose. So, if any of that interests you, click and read on ...
Okay, first, I'm assuming here that you read the post. Now here's the comment, written by someone in India (Wow, I've gone global!):Hi,
I was looking for spiritual blogs, here I found yours, dear, tell me one thing which I didn't get in your article, that when you're getting training to be a spiritual leader, your mentor told you listen to your spirit and body, that's fine, but next line !!! 'when hungry eat, when tired sleep, when energetic move, don't you think through these things, we'll depend on our body, many times body says go to sleep, go take rest, mostly it say so, then should we keep on fulfilling it's wishes like this??
I must admit, at first I was taken aback by this comment. But the more I thought about this individual's words, the more I thought that perhaps it could be understood that I was advocating a hedonistic spiritual path. You know, sleeping, eating, and having fun instead of practicing the spiritual disciplines. Well, that is not what I meant at all.
Remember, both Buddha (explicitly) and Jesus (implicitly) advocated a type of "middle of the road" approach to faith and spirituality. In the Christian tradition, stories abound of Jesus being criticized because he ate and drank (!) with sinners, and talked about not going to extremes. The Buddha tried the ascetic life, and it almost killed him before he chose the path that would lead to his enlightenment. Jesus did fast in the wilderness, but he also talked about putting ones faith in God, and not worrying about what the future would bring ("Consider the lilies ...").
So when I said that my mentor told me "that I need to learn to listen to my body and spirit. When energized, move. When tired, sleep. When hungry, feed. That sort of thing." what he meant was that we need to listen to what our bodies say, but at the same time not go to the extreme of letting them take over our lives. In other words, when tired, sleep, but not so much that we stay in bed all day and all night. When hungry, eat, but don't become gluttonous. And so on. Find that happy medium and stick with it.
If we refuse to listen to what our bodies say, everything in our lives is affected. When I'm exhausted, I don't think clearly. I become irritable, and my perception of reality is skewed. The same happens when I'm hungry, or when I'm sick. My relationship with the Divine suffers, especially if I try to plow ahead with my spiritual life when my physical and mental selves are suffering.
Hopefully, all of this makes more sense now. I will say that I'm not sure what tradition the person who left this comment comes out of; my attempts to go back through her blogs (most of which lacked posts) and the websites to which she linked didn't reveal much. Not that it matters in the long run - she raised an issue and I hope I've answered and ended any confusion as to what I was trying to say.
Peace.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Burnout, Spirituality Style
Seems to be a lot of that going around. I don't know if it's the weather (it's too dang hot!), the natural slowdown in traditional places of worship, my personal frustrations with the job search that is (almost!) over, or what. It just seems that lately I haven't been as excited or energetic about my spiritual growth, research, and life as I was a few months ago.
Turns out I'm not the only one, though.
I went over to Blogickal's website, which I've been reading every so often because I find her insight and her tradition (she's wiccan) to be fascinating. Do I subscribe to her beliefs? No, but it doesn't mean that she is, or I am, wrong in any way shape or form. If there's one thing I've learned during my journey, it's that there are very few absolutely "wrong" answers when it comes to our relationship with the Divine. Unless you think that Tom Cruise is a great spiritual leader, that is. Then you're absolutely wrong! : )
Anyway, in her latest post, she talks about her feelings of ennui. I later met with Whirling Dervish, and he and I chatted about how all of us seem to be feeling run down and stagnant in our spiritual progression. Despite learning opportunities in both of our lives (as well as the coming new career paths), we're both sort of, well, just here.
I'm sure that further introspection will reveal the source of this, but for now I think I'll just let it be. I remember when I was training as a spiritual director - one of the best things I ever did, despite not doing much directing these days! I remember my mentor telling me that I need to learn to listen to my body and spirit. When energized, move. When tired, sleep. When hungry, feed. That sort of thing. As simple as it sounds, too often I try to plow ahead when I'm exhausted and drained, and go hungry when I should be taking care of myself. So now might be a good time, since I'm waiting on people to process my paperwork, to just sit back and doing some resting and healing. Self-care is a must when you're in this business!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Still Tired, After All These Hours . . .
It's certainly been a day of ups and downs here at work. I was called in last night due to a death and my being on call. Thing was, I took a sleeping pill as I had spent the last few nights having little sleep (racing thoughts and stress about life the universe, and employment). So I was really groggy when I answered that call. The family didn't seem to notice, so either I'm that good, or they were equally spaced out!
Today was the usual drudgery of meetings, patient visits, and missed appointments. But I was pretty up, as I was able to get answers to questions I had regarding the application process. I also received the kudos of colleagues and several recommendations / references for the position. But then came the drop - I had to talk to Human Resources.
First off, I found out that the per day pay is less than I was originally told. Still good pay, mind you, but nowhere near as good as the original quote. Then I was told that I couldn't buy into the hospital insurance plan, as I won't technically be an employee of the hospital - it's called a fee basis position, which makes me a contractor / mercenary / mini-Halliburton sans Dick Cheney. Yucks all around.
HR is evil. That's all there is to it. When I was working towards getting a chpalain job, it was HR that gave us all a hard time, both at headquarters and here. Now it's HR again, giving me vast amounts of paperwork (that they already have) to fill out and less money and fewer benefits (okay, no benefits). Granted, I knew that there weren't any benefits, but they won't even let me pay full for the same ones I have now. So now One Ring and I have to find insurance coverage for me. She's covered by her Ph.D. program, but I'm going to be out of the loop very, very soon.
I am having a Milton moment. 
Good thing I'm leaving in 30 minutes. Peace.
Proof That the Universe Will Never End
So here's my theory. You know how the idea of how God and Heaven works is based on medieval life (king, servants, kingdom, Lord, Pearly Gates, and all that kind of language) that was projected onto the divine? If not, it was, so keep reading. Anyway, since those ideas were formed during medieval times, and now that we are long past those days, we need to change our thinking of how God and Heaven and everything else works. The model that we should now use is (drum roll, please!) ... the Federal Government!
Now if that's the case, then it can easily be reasoned that the end times which people have wasted their days predicting for so long (Great Disappointment, anyone?) will never happen. How is that? It's simple, really.
Paperwork.
I've been working in my current position for just shy of a year now. I'm about to move (internally) to a new position. One would think that all that would be needed is for the powers that be to take the information that is already on file and move it to the department where I will be working. Piece of cake, right? Wrong.
I just finished printing about 50 pages of applications, instructions, direct deposit forms, and other miscellanea, most of which I filled out a year ago when I took my current job and is now gathering dust in a file cabinet in Human Resources somewhere! But no, to get anything done in the government, there is a mountain of paperwork to be filled out and hand delivered (because to mail it is to kiss it goodbye).
So, going back to my first point, if God and all that is holy can be thought of in terms of Federal Government, rather than a medieval monarchy, then the universe will never come to a close. There's simply too much paperwork to fill out before the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ride!
