The Pirate (Ex) Chaplain

Someday, I'll Build One ...

2011-10-03T10:28:00.004-05:00

And for once, I'm not referring to a pirate ship. Though that be on me list!

No, I'm talking about a different sort of craft entirely. As many of you know, I am a HUGE fan of H.P. Lovecraft, and consider him to be the father of modern horror. True, some of his writing is almost painfully dull, and when he goes on one of his racist tirades - although I do keep in mind that he was writing in the '20s, which was not the most enlightened of times in terms of racial integration and understanding - I'm tempted to give up on him. But when I reread "The Call of Cthulhu," "The Shadow over Innsmouth," or "The Dunwich Horror," I'm reminded why I love his brand of weird tales so much.

One of Lovecraft's strong points is that he completely avoided the whole cliche of good vs. evil in his writings. It's not that the monsters and villains are evil; they just don't care or don't even notice humanity at all! To Lovecraft, humanity is to the Old Ones and their cults what a bug is to a car on the highway: barely noticeable, aside from the debris on the windshield. When conflict occurs between humanity (usually represented by one or two people who are unlucky enough to get caught in the wrong place and wrong time) and the beasties, the outcome is usually uncertain or at best a draw. To me, this is how horror should be. Not ending with a celebration, but not ending with utter defeat, either (I'm talking to you, Skeleton Key!). The protagonists may have forced the chaos back, but there's always the knowledge that humanity isn't safe, was never safe, and will never be safe.

Anyway, Lovecraft has a rather cultish fan base, and there are podcasts, games, and people selling props and replicas of items from his stories (I have a diploma from the fictitious Miskatonic University - a PhD in Theoretical Realities, in case you were curious). Today I came across instructions to build a cemetery plot for Lovecraft! Once the Dude gets old enough, one of the Father-Son activities I've planned is for us to go nuts and build a haunted yard display. You can bet that this is going to be one of the central pieces!

In the meantime, though, I must return to the drudgery of work. Ugh. At least I am making money that I can put (although One Ring generally terms this as waste) towards these projects!

It's the MOST WONDERFUL TIME of the Year!

2011-09-30T10:58:00.003-05:00

And if anyone says, "Christmas" they will be strung up from the yardarm!

Nope, it's the Halloween season. 31 days of wonderful craziness that envelops everything that I enjoy thinking about: mythology, alternate realities, books, movies, and all sorts of things that go bump in the night.

Made the slight error of watching two horror films last night - From Beyond (a H.P. Lovecraft inspired flick) and The Night Flier (based on a Stephen King short story). Neither was worth writing home about, to be honest, but each had a couple of memorable scenes. I've been on the hunt for good horror movies lately. It's a yearly thing; usually around September I start looking at the "Best of" lists on the internet and see if there are any I haven't seen. Usually I hit duds, but occasionally I find some movies that were either limited releases or direct to video that are unbelievably good. Let the Right One In (remade in the U.S. as "Let Me In") and Trick R Treat are two of my greatest finds. I'm also fond of Le Pacte de Loups (Brotherhood of the Wolf), which is based on a historical event in France.

What I haven't been able to find are horror movies based at sea. I've seen Ghost Ship, and a few films that have sea monsters, but I'm looking for a good film that combines my loves - nautical / pirate tales and horror. I mean, the closest I've seen* (not to say there isn't anything out there; I just haven't found it yet!) is the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. And that is about as scary as my beagle! It's really hard to believe that no one has jumped on this subject yet! Lovecraft wrote several stories centering in and around the sea, and there are written works by others, of course. But movies? Nothing uncovered yet.

The search for buried treasure goes on ...

*and before anyone says, "What about The Fog????" please note that I have seen it and while it is an awesome horror movie, there are a couple of things that keep it from satisfying my craving for nautical horror: 1) it doesn't take place on a ship of any kind, and 2) the ghosts are lepers, not pirates. Still, it is a highly recommended and very enjoyable and scary film.

Avast! This be Ye Captain Speakin'

2011-09-19T09:24:00.003-05:00

Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Now hoist ye colors and get about plunderin', pillagin', drinkin' and makin' a general nuisance of ye'self!

Arrr! Pass Me Th' Gravy Boat, If Ye Please!

2011-09-08T12:15:00.003-05:00

Yes. Pirates apparently liked fine dining.

An archeological dig 15 miles up the Belize River has uncovered a pirate hideout dating circa 1720 has revealed, among other things, Chinese Porcelain! While glasses and cups were not found, suggesting that the pirates drank straight from the bottle - and what's wrong with that? - fragments of porcelain plates, bowls, and containers have been uncovered. There were also vast quantities of clay pipes, so the boys apparently loved their smokes.

... and gravy boats. Apparently the time period was stranger than we thought!

You can read the rest of the article here.

One More Thing ...

2011-09-08T11:23:00.000-05:00

Mystic Revolution - a webcomic that I occasionally read during my more boring moments at work - is doing a "Ninja vs. Pirate" subplot.

A little bit of background: MR is set in a fantasy online game world. Think World of Warcraft and similar MMO titles. So the characters are avatars of gamers, and the storyline often reflects things that take place in MMOs - like player vs. player tournaments. That's what's going on now, which explains how a ninja and a pirate would run into each other.

One caveat, though: the pirate is the villain of the piece, as the ninja is one of the main characters. Be sure to let the comic's writer know how outraged you are. Pirates will ALWAYS be cooler than ninjas!

You can pick up the action here. To start the comic from the beginning, click on the link located on the sidebar.

Now back to my rapidly shrinking lunch break. Sigh.

Recoverin' and Book Learnin'

2011-09-08T10:23:00.003-05:00

I'm just getting back on my feet after having some abdominal surgery. Nothing major, but enough to put me on my back for a couple of weeks. Even now, I'm having trouble with my energy levels (Wind gets knocked out of my sails, easily, I mean), and I'm still not supposed to lift anything more than 10 lbs. Problem is, the Dude weighs in at 20 now, so I've been breaking that rule a bit, certainly more than One Ring approves.

Fortunately, though, One Ring gave me a Kindle for my birthday, so I've been able to read a couple of books. Of particular interest has been The Sea Rover's Practice: Pirate Tactics and Techniques, 1630-1730 by Bennerson Little. Little is a former U.S. Navy SEAL, and his knowledge of strategy certainly shows.

What's really been interesting in this book (I'm only about halfway through; it was often difficult to read for long stretches when medication kept knocking me out!), is how the author contrasts what pirate enthusiasts like to stress about the era (Jolly Rogers, broadside cannon fusillades, and easily recognizable attire) and the reality of prize taking. Suffice to say that pirates then were more similar to the modern rovers operating off Somalia and Indonesia than any of us fun loving, rum drinking, swashbuckling types would ever like to admit.

Little does more than just point out the Hollywood and Talk Like a Pirate Day (11 days away!) inaccuracies, though. There's more than enough adventure, deception, and intrigue left in the historical record for our love of all things pyratical to continue. It's just a fair warning that I'm giving: don't expect too much of Disney's famous fictional captain to be left intact. Of course, none of us who have done any research into the era already knew that.

All in all, a good read, and a fair examination of the realities of the era. Enjoy!

Well, Yeah, I Suppose It's Piracy

2011-08-17T13:55:00.003-05:00

But it seems a wee bit less manly than, say, raiding shipping in the Caribbean in the 17th century!

I'm talking about Book Piracy.

Blackbeard is rolling in his grave (minus his head, of course!).

On Faith and Floating, Pt. 2

2011-08-05T10:51:00.005-05:00

In my last post, I gave a very simplified view of my problem with faith. Namely, my seeming inability to maintain it. I glossed over a few issues - church conflict, problem of evil, bad things happening to good people, etc. - that were not resolved by any theological formulation (none I had found, anyway). Orthodox, conservative, progressive, process, liberation ... name your subset of theology; nothing seemed to fix my problem. And I do claim ownership of this. Plenty of people the world over have come up with ideas and explanations that work perfectly well for them. They just don't for me.

So I continued my journey into Zen, loving every moment of it, while simultaneously grieving the loss of faith in the notion of a caring, compassionate, interventionist (involved) and, to some extent, determinist (there's a plan for your life) God. It's hard to let go of the old ideas, even though they've fallen apart in an logical sense. There always seems to be an emotional piece involved in beliefs, which is why we always get into the most heated of debates and conflicts over what seems, to outsiders, at least, to be the most trivial of issues. In my case, this meant that while I was intellectually ready to abandon the idea of a deity who was ready to help me out at the drop of a hat, who loved me and wanted nothing but the best for me, etc., I still found myself feeling emotions similar to the kind people face when dealing with acts of abandonment or betrayal.

Fortunately, some events occurred that helped me tremendously.

The first event was when a friend contacted me on Facebook's chat program and started asking questions about death and dying. She told me that her mother is dying of cancer, and spoke of the emotional strains on her family. I don't know how long I spent talking to her about grief and related issues, but I do know that I came away from the conversation feeling, I don't know, alive? In the zone, maybe. Like this type of work was where I excelled, where I belonged.

But still, even a feeling of belonging doesn't necessarily resolve theological dilemmas. Yes, I could listen, provide comfort and support, and even maybe offer insight as to what was being experienced. But talking to people who believe in a omnipresent, omniscient, all powerful God when I do not is still a major roadblock. Plus, having one positive experience that reminded me of some of my better chaplain moments does not resolution make.

The second major event came from, of all places, a podcast put out by the San Francisco Zen Center. I have been visiting their site for some time now, as finding and attending Buddhist centers here in TN has been problematic. I have found their dharma talks to be very thought provoking and challenging. In another world, another time, I might have even travelled there and done the whole monk thing. But reality is WAY different, and I seriously doubt that One Ring would appreciate me quitting my job and moving to California!

This particular podcast, entitled "The Spirit of Practice: Christianity and Zen," was particularly engaging. Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine Monk, discussed 3 aspects of Christianity: Faith, Hope, and Love (mentioned prominently in 1 Corinthians 13) in a way that I had never considered. He said (you'd be better off listening to the podcast, but here's my take on it) that there are actually two types of hope and two types of faith. Hope with a capital H is what he termed, "Openness to Surprise." Little "h" hope is a desire for individual things or events. In Zen that would be defined as attachments, the principle cause of suffering. But living a life with Hope means that we are open to the unexpected, and take notice and pleasure in the multitude of experiences occurring all around us all the time.

In the same way, there are two types of faith. Faith with a capital "F" is trusting in life. He draws the illustration of Faith being like the water that holds a swimmer. The swimmer trusts the water, he or she knows that they will be buoyed while he or she moves about. When we have Faith, we trust ourselves to life, moving through it and not being troubled when life acts like, well, life.

Meanwhile, faith with the lower-case "f" is definied by Steindl-Rast as beliefs. This notion was what caused my "a-ha!" moment. My issue was not that I was having a crisis of faith, but that I was having a crisis of beliefs. Crises of beliefs are nothing new to me, nor should they be to anyone else. Beliefs change all the time, because we are getting new information all the time that challenges our beliefs. I was allowing, however, my crisis of faith to be a crisis of Faith, in that I found it difficult to trust myself to life when I could no longer be supported by my beliefs.

This a-ha moment then tied in with my issue of hope and Hope. Once I realized that I was grasping at specific things, anticipated outcomes, and desires, it became easier to step back and try to surrender to Hope. In other words, to stop trying to force the universe to my will, and be willing to be open to uncertainty (no easy task for me!) and surprise.

In case you're wondering, Steindl-Rast commented on the third aspect, love, as well. He defines it as "the yes to belonging with the whole of being." That will take a little longer to unpack, longer than the space appropriate for a blog post (and this one is already HUGE by my standards!). Suffice to say that if we have Hope, and if we have Faith, then we may find it easier to become involved with others. Community opens up when we ourselves are open to being a part of community. We belong when we allow ourselves to belong. We are loved when we love. So when we accept that we belong, that we are one with all of creation, there is a sense of love, of healthy relationship, present.

There's a lot more than that, of course, more than was discussed even in the podcast. Suffice to say, though, that it was enough to get me thinking that perhaps I was not as lost as I felt. Perhaps there was a way for me to work out my issues with spirituality, with faith, with all the aspects of life I dropped off when I ceased being a chaplain. And perhaps there is still a way out of this morass I've found myself in over the last several months.

If you've read this far, you're awesome. I appreciate your hanging on. I'll close this post here, and hopefully future writings will be more light-hearted, fun, and piratical!

On Faith and Floating ...

2011-08-03T13:59:00.007-05:00

So, now to a major, major issue in my life. Where does a pirate chaplain turn when he doesn't know if belief in the Divine is possible?

My crisis o' faith started way back when I was at Vanderbilt Divinity School. Having no prior knowledge of Biblical exegesis, criticism, or deconstruction, I was of the extremely immature notion that "Well, it says here that ... so it must be true!"

Needless to say, that didn't last long.

Although I will always be grateful for my education at the 'div, it was a brutal experience. Nothing, and I mean nothing, survived those 3 years of deconstruction. Everything faith related had to be rebuilt from scratch, and able to withstand critique. Which was fine, because I came to feel - and still do - that if the unexamined life is not worth living, then the unexamined faith is not worth having. I left Vandy, figuring that I had it all worked out.

I don't think I could have been more wrong.

The thing is, we NEVER have it all worked out. There's always something, an event, an idea, a contradiction, that has the potential to send us into a tailspin. For me, it was being a part of two major church conflicts that turned me off of congregational ministry. What got me out of chaplaincy was the death of the idea of an interventionist God.

Most people, I think, hold an idea of the Divine that bears a striking resemblance to Santa Claus. I'm good, I pray, and good things happen. I get in trouble, I pray, and my butt gets removed from frying pan and fire. Thing is, all you have to do is spend time in a emergency room - especially a trauma center - to know that bad things do happen to good people. The common ideas of God: All powerful, all knowing, and omnipresent simply do not hold up. God cannot be all three and still be good. For if God is all three, and allows horrible things to happen (tsunamis, rapes, murders, the Holocaust, earthquakes, Glen Beck, etc.) then God cannot be good. Take away one of the three aspects, your choice, and God is less than the traditional image of the Divine.

Usually it's the all powerful aspect of God that is sacrificed (as in Kushner's When Bad Things Happen to Good People). What many have done is drop in ideas of free will, or enter into apologetic arguments, to let God off the hook. My contention, then and now, is that if God is all knowing (or even marginally knowing), then God would have to be involved in human life in order to be good. Two years in hospital work and a few more subsequent years doing church work resulted in my reconsidering my ideas about God.

So I gradually eased my way towards Zen Buddhism, which had been an interest of mine ever since I started taking martial arts lessons as a child. Nothing is said of God in Zen. It's a non-theistic philosophy, which suited me just fine. My anger towards the church, which I felt had let me down, and my continued irritation at clergy and lay people alike, who were spouting all sorts of hate-filled diatribes against gays, Muslims (the perennial favorites) was allowed to remain at a heated level, with the added bonus that I could thumb my nose at my former home, thinking that I had found a better place with far more advanced thinking and wisdom.

Until I eventually came to realize that my ego had run rampant. Zen's big on squashing out of control egos. And all this nose thumbing was not good. So I had to re-evaluate what I was thinking, and why I was thinking it. I had to look at my thoughts on God, and separate that from my thoughts on the human institutions and actions that were God-related. Fortunately, there were a couple of incidents that helped me along.

To be continued during another boring day at work ...

Plotting a Course Out of the Doldroms

2011-08-03T11:00:00.005-05:00

I hated to leave things on such a negative note last time, but that's where I was. Sometimes we are stuck in life without wind, without sail. Not long ago, I read The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, which contains lines that should resonate with anyone who has ever faced depression:

Day after day, day after day,
We stuck, nor breath nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.

Water, water, every where,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.

It didn't take long for me to decide that I needed to get out, get moving, find healing from whatever it was that dragged me down. My medication was changed; that was easy enough. But as I teach my clients (I've been working as an addiction therapist ever since I left chaplaincy), 95% of the battle is mental. If we only take medication, if we only stop using, we're only addressing a very small part of the problem. We have to get to the root issue out of which all the behavior and emotions are spawned.

So I knew that there was long, hard road opening up before me.

A coworker of mine recently returned after spending 5 weeks at a recovery / retreat center. His work had stressed him out to the point where he had a breakdown. That, combined with his own inner demons, necessitated the drastic step of a long medical leave with treatment. When he returned, he took one look at me and said, "Dude, what's got you so angry?" After listening to me rant about all the injustices, incompetance, and issues at work, he simply stated that I am filled with resentment, and suggested that I work on the fourth step of the 12-step program.

Mind you, I'm not an addict in any way, shape, or form. Although I did love the rum and grog in my college and grad school days, I simply do not fit the DSM-IV criteria for either dependence or abuse of drugs or alcohol. Yet, despite this fact, I decided to give it a whirl. I'm still working on it, but did it ever open up some bilge that desperately needs to be pumped out!

The process seems to be working. I'm giving voice to my resentments and working on processing them. There are some odd moments, though. I noticed that every July 30th (my birthday, in case you've a notion to send gifts!) I tend to have a bout of depression. There are reasons - I recall a very bad car crash that I witnessed when I was a small boy, I had to put my dachshund, Peanut, to sleep on the 31st of July, 2007, and a few other bad days that don't warrent mentioning here. But there is one tragedy that I can't seem to walk past. That would be the suicide of an ex-girlfriend back in 2004. She was buried on July 30th in Virginia.

We didn't date for long, but we did keep in touch afterwards. And that connection seems to have kept the wounds open. I need to keep looking at it and through it, but there are feelings of responsibility, survivor guilt, and Lord only knows what else. After years of searching, I finally found out the Funeral Home that conducted her service. I've emailed them, asking for the location of her grave. Maybe visiting that can give me some closure. Who knows. My colleague spoke of some other strategies that they teach in the recovery community. I'll try those as well. I don't believe in ghosts, but I believe that people can be haunted. If that's the case, then I have a regular Flying Dutchman of a life!

There's more going on as I try to get some wind in these sails, but I'll save it for another post. Perhaps later today I'll get some more time. Some interesting developments in the world of spirituality going on that is worth mentioning. That's been a sore spot in my life for a long, long time, extending back past the chaplaincy, past the churches, and into my time at Vanderbilt Divinity School.

But that must wait a bit.

Anger, Resentment, and General Misanthropy

2011-07-26T13:42:00.005-05:00

... in which our pirate hero attempts to cope with work, family, stress, and a seeming inability to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Which would be very cool if I could figure out a way to pull it off.

For the last several months, I've been coping with an outbreak of depression. For years, I've been able to keep things under control, but lately there have been times when I just can't get a grip on my moods. Fortunately, my work and my relationships seem to be intact, but internally I've been in a major funk (and not the Parliment type, either).

Today I had a conversation with a coworker who has just returned from a 30 day retreat. He went there after being abused horrifically in his former department. He's now back with us, but he needed that 30 day medical leave to keep sane and sober.

Anyway, he noted that my anger and resentment towards a laundry list of people, places, and institutions has increased dramatically. Don't worry, they know who they are, even if they don't care (I'm talking to you, fundamentalist Christians who think that the civil rights of others should be put to a vote!). During the course of the conversation, my friend suggested that I do work similar to the 4th step of alcoholics anonymous, where that sort of anger and resentment is categorized. And that is how I spent my lunch break today at work.

While I am nowhere near done with this exercise, and I have every intention of taking it to a therapist at some point - because I firmly believe that depression is something that shouldn't be handled alone; we should pay people to suffer with us! - it appears that I am a walking, talking, seething container of angst. Whereas I want to think of myself as a cool, collected, mellow zen dude who can swash my buckle with the best of them, I am also a very angry person. Or, perhaps I should look at it as anger has me.

I watch the news and get angry. I listen to my patients and become frustrated. I attend staff meetings and wonder if logical behavior will ever occur here. One Ring tells me that I can't do whatever I want, whenever I want, and resentment arises. I go home to visit my family at the ocean front in Virginia, and I mourn that I no longer live by the sea. Of course, none of that anger gets expressed. It just sits inside of me, until it turns on me, and depression comes roaring in like an evil tide.

The ironic thing is that I spend my day counseling people who have substance abuse issues. Most addicts actually start out self-medicating some life problem - usually an emotional issue. Let's face it, no one starts their day saying, "I think those folks on Intervention got a good thing going on!" Self-medication leads to addiction, and down the hole you go. The thing is, to heal you can't just remove the substance. You need to work on the emotional issues that were being medicated in the first place.

So I know, as a former chaplain, as a therapist, as a human being, what I need to do to work through my resentments. I just don't do it. Or rather, I let the feelings work through me, rather than the other way around. And, frankly, I don't have enough rum to let that remain the status quo!

At this point, now that I'm back from my semi-annual pilgrimige to the ocean, there seems to be a choice hanging in front of me. I can either choose to let things remain the same, at the expense of my health (migraines and other beasties are rising from the depths!), or I can start practicing what I've been reading, studying, and teaching for the last however many years. That means looking at the painful places in my psyche and doing the work needed to find balance. Ugh. I'm not looking forward to this at all.

It's just that the alternative - misanthropy, that hatred and distrust of humanity - is not that conducive to running a tight ship!

Sea Worthy Weekend

2011-06-27T09:38:00.006-05:00

My freedom from the job began this weekend with a wonderful "Date Night" with One Ring. We grabbed some dinner at a new (to us) Thai restaurant, then hustled over to see Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. While it was not as good, in my opinion, as the first one, it was still better than the second and third installment. All of the press that I saw suggested that it was based on Tim Power's novel On Stranger Tides. However, the end credits stated that the movie was "suggested by" the book. Which meant that there was very little similarity to Power's work. Which is a shame, because - as I've posted before - I found the book enjoyable.

Afterwards, One Ring asked me, "So was the movie like the book?" I told her that it was really not like it much at all. When she asked what they had in common, I answered, "Blackbeard and the Fountain of Youth. Maybe zombies. I'm not sure about the mermaids." Vampire mermaids, I might add, who resembled Victoria Secret models trying to look like they stepped off the set of the Twilight movies. Sigh.

Still, it was a enjoyable film. Lots of action, several funny moments, and enough serious points to keep it from being an out and out comedy. Plus there was the added bonus of a Church of England priest being a central character. Finally, the combination of chaplains and pirates! Dude even picked up a sword! I came close to doing a happy dance at that point.

But that was not all that was sea worthy this weekend.

Sunday marked the return of my polymer clay classes. I had taken a six month hiatus due to the Dude arriving in the world, but now life's at the point where I could start teaching back up again. That's pretty awesome on a number of levels. I enjoy doing it, and it helps me to learn techniques. Like this past weekend, where I taught mokume gane - which is a done by layering thin sheets of different color clays, manipulating it by pressing objects down into the clay then back filling the holes they create, and then slicing thin layers off the top. I only had two students, but that worked out really well because I was able to give more attention and help them out.

Anyway, I have been trying to figure out how to create faux driftwood beads out of polymer clay. We don't get a lot of driftwood out my way (Tennessee, I'm sad to report!), and even if we did, I lack the equipment necessary to form them out of wood. Using the class as a jumping off point, I was able to create these beads, which I immediately put to use in one of my sea glass chokers. I'm actually wearing it at work now, which shows how pleased I am with the finished product. The beads aren't exact replicas of driftwood, but it's definitely the best result I've had thus far.

The beads.

And the sea glass choker where I put them to use.

I also created a sea glass necklace for my mother, with polymer clay beads made with the same technique, only different colors. A busy weekend, craft wise, but a very enjoyable one!

Comments Section Back Up

2011-06-24T09:18:00.002-05:00

A while back I mentioned that I had disabled comments on this here blog due to some strangeness coming from the Far East. When I would backtrack to see who these comment writers were (I don't speak Chinese), I found that it was one individual who had created at least twenty blogs - none of which had anything written on them!

Well, I'm hoping that this person has faded back into whatever fog bank he or she lives in (even gender was difficult to fathom!), and that if reasonably sane people wish to comment, they may. As I wrote on the signal page, though, "Keep it polite, keep it clean, and keep it in English, Matey!"

Finally!

2011-06-24T09:05:00.002-05:00

One Ring and I are going to see Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides tonight. This will be our first "real" date (other than her parents watching our son so we can eat out or go to a coffee shop) since The Dude was born. I'm VERY much looking forward to this.

For someone who loves pirate lore, history, and inspired chaos, I have been remiss in getting out to see it. I've heard mixed reviews, from both pirates and lubbers, but the book upon which the movie is based was decent (I kept meaning to write a review, but never got around to it). At any rate, it should make for an enjoyable evening.

I've added some new links to the non-pirate list on the right. One's related to Lovecraft, one to the very well done Reasonable Doubts podcast, and one is Zen related. Take a look and enjoy. I also removed a few sites that I felt were underwhelming or redundant (Since I had both I can has cheeseburger and I has a hotdog, the cat lolz had to go). Hopefully they will not be missed.

Well, I have 15 minutes before I have to speak to a recovery group. Part of the job. Good news is that it's pretty much my last hurdle before the weekend.

Hopefully more will be written today after the group.

Big Loss in the Zen Community

2011-06-22T09:12:00.003-05:00

I just found out that Charlotte Joko Beck died on June 15 while in hospice care. Granted I never met her, never studied under her, and only read one of her books (Everyday Zen: Love and Work), but that one book is considered necessary reading for anyone interested in Zen Buddhism, particularly Zen from a Western perspective. Beck taught, among other things, that we should work with our emotions and not seek to avoid them or dismiss them as not being real and powerful. Oftentimes people look at Buddhism as a sort of "feel good / not affected by anything" kind of religion or philosophy, when nothing could be further from the truth.

I confess that I'm going to have to go back and read that book again, but that is certainly not a bad thing. Since I have yet to find a teacher here in Nashville - although I did have a nice experience at a Theravadan temple a couple of weeks ago (more on that later) - more self study and meditation is called for.

The Much Delayed Update

2011-06-17T08:58:00.011-05:00

Back when I restarted this blog, I made a promise to myself to update it regularly, regardless of whether or not I thought anyone bothered to read it. I had to shut down the comments section because of weird Chinese spam that kept showing up. At any rate, now I have no way of knowing if these words are being read by anyone. But that's okay, because I sometimes find that simply writing on topics of interest, be it pirates, religion, Lovecraft and other science fiction, or my day, helps me to clear my head and work things out. So this space has a therapeutic use. When I use it. When I don't write, this blog serves more as a jumping off point to web sites that interest me.

All of which is to say that I feel better when I write, so I'm going to keep writing, if for no greater reason than it makes me feel better when I do so.

So, without further ado, here's the long anticipated update on my life, starting with the Great Tatoo Saga!

You might recall that when Tigger and Pooh visited us, I was supposed to go with Pooh over to a tattoo place near us and get inked up. The original design was an enso. But whereas ensos normally are black - they're done with calligraphy ink and a horse hair brush - I had seen one that was done with blue watercolors. I wanted that. But the guy we talked to said he only did black ink. No colors. You can read the whole sordid tale here.

Anyway, Pooh and Tigger went home, and I was left to figure out whether or not it was going to happen. Sharkbait (my brother) wanted me to wait until we got to Virginia next month to get it. But One Ring, of all people (she thinks tattoos are definitely not a necessary thing!), remembered hearing good things about another Tattoo studio / art gallery closer in to Nashville. So after a phone call and a couple of emails. Off to Blackbird Tattoo I went. I'll spare the details, but they were really nice with this newbie, and I'm happy with the end product:

This is the original design, which I came up with after having several long talks with One Ring and Pooh. Tigger went nuts with some graphics program and put it together. He spent so much time on it that they almost missed their flight!

The shell represents my Christian past and upbringing. The Scallop shell is a symbol of the ritual of Baptism. Then blue enso on it represents, of course, my interest in Buddhism - particularly Zen Buddhism. Blue also combines with the shell to sybolize my love of the ocean and my longing to return to it. I wanted the enso to look like it is engraved onto the shell, rather than just overlapping it. The pics don't really do it justice, but I was surprised by how well it turned out.

So now it's there. And one more thing has been crossed off my bucket list. Sometimes I think of getting one on my right arm, to balance it out, but that's an adventure for another day.

To be continued ...

Just Saying, That's All

2011-06-16T12:59:00.004-05:00

I'll post more later in the day (I hope!), but for the moment I have to celebarate. I was two - yes, two years old! - the last time this happened! 1970 and 1972 were awesome years for Boston Bruins fans, and now we can add 2011 to that!

New Office Deterrent!

2011-06-01T09:43:00.004-05:00

Now let's see if it works!

This is the End. No, THIS is the End. No, Wait ...

2011-05-25T14:36:00.002-05:00

Yeah, I know I should have posted stuff here a long time ago …

… but the world was supposed to end, and I have a rather large bucket list!

Boiling down the events of the past months into one cynical sentence, “An 89 year old head of a multi-million dollar radio station played on the beliefs and fears of people, used their millions of dollars of THEIR money to advance his agenda, failed to take responsibility for his failure, and now is doing it again!” Recap article is here.

Nothing is more irritating (for me) than having to sit through lunatic rantings and ravings about the end times. Never have enjoyed it, and never will. I’ve often wondered why I get so upset at cult leaders like the nutcase over at Family Radio (No, this time the world is REALLY going to end! … unless we made a mistake in our super secret math formulas. Again.) . I mean, I feel compassion towards the members, because it’s easy to fall under the spell of a charismatic person who seems to have all the answers, especially when times are tough and a person’s sense of self-worth may not be that high. But for the leaders, there is nothing but contempt in my heart.

Was I feeling more in a pirate-y mood, I’d make a comment about keelhauling or flogging or rendering into shark bait, but I’m not there today. Today I’m sitting at work with too much time on my hands and not enough things going on to make the day go by. Yeah, it’s great where I work … when there’s stuff to do. But when the doctor is on vacation, and the patients aren’t coming in and keeping me occupied, I get grumpy. And that’s what today is like.

So instead I’m wondering why people get wrapped up in this sort of end times hysteria. You would think that the whole Y2K thing would have convinced us that belief in that sort of thing is misguided, at best. We’ve done this so many times, after all. I remember hearing about Nostradamus when I was a teen. He supposedly predicted the end back in the 80s. Then it was the 90s with another group. Camping did it, too. Then I saw Pat Robertson of 700 Club fame say it was going to be 2000 (of course, he said this during one of his telethons, which didn’t lend him much credibility!). Now this. Don’t even get me started on the December 21, 2012 Mayan prediction!

So why? Why do people go for this type of thing? Why are people so eager to buy into a belief system that predicts an imminent end to the world, even after being fooled again, and again, and again …?

The only idea that I’ve been able to come up with is that if a prediction is coupled with a benefit – as in this case with the rapture preceding the destruction of the world – then it’s seen as a good thing by a certain segment of society. I saw somewhere that the baby boomers and older generations, basically those who have already experienced a lot that life has to offer, are generally liking this whole belief system. The younger bunch, especially the children of the rapture lovers, aren’t feeling it, because there’s still life to be lived.

This leads me to believe that the love of the apocalypse is essentially a suicide by proxy wish. People want to stop the pain that comes with everyday existence. It hurts to deal with relationships, careers, bills, getting older, health problems, and everything else that goes with living. We all have this desire to flee pain and move towards pleasure, however fleeting. With the belief that life will end, but people will live forever in paradise, one gets to wish for death without any of the negatives of harboring suicidal thoughts or desires. Since most religions tend to discourage, if not outright prohibit, suicide, there’s a cognitive disconnect that comes when a religious person gets weary of the pain. Looking forward to an imminent end of days brought on by a returning messiah takes care of that disconnect, and offers a way out of suffering.

I had a conversation with One Ring a couple of days ago during which I wondered what Christianity would look like if we could remove all the end times stuff. Get rid of Revelation; get rid of the chapters of Daniel that depict the end. Just wipe the Bible clean of all thoughts of an end, and get people to focus on the work that needs to be done in the here and now. You know, all that feed to hungry, house the homeless, visit the prisoner stuff. What would happen if we scrubbed the place clean of all it and focused on, I don’t know, the stuff that Jesus TAUGHT us to do?
But, of course I remembered that the guy himself was an apocalyptic teacher, as was John the Baptist before him. The Judeo-Christian tradition is rife with people who lived in horrible times, preaching that surely things were so bad that God would intervene and clean the mess up. I’m not sure what we would get if we removed that tradition, and kept the rest. I’m sure it would be wonderful, but would it still be Christian?

If it is not, and I suspect that removing the apocalyptic would render Christianity into a sort of quasi Unitarian Universalist faith, then is there any way it can be moderated? Is there any way we can help protect the vulnerable from being taken for a ride by Camping, Robertson, and their ilk? Is there any way, without becoming heavy handed and theocratic, that people can speak up and say, “No! It’s not the end! Go back to your lives and stop sending money to these morons!”

I hope so. ‘cause this is getting really old and is starting to give faith and religion a bad name.

False Start on the Great Tattoo Adventure

2011-05-09T09:58:00.002-05:00

Well, the great tattoo adventure didn’t go as planned. Tigger and Pooh have been visiting us for the last week, and the plan was for Pooh and I to go to the tattoo shop on Friday afternoon to get my long anticipated ink. I spent part of my lunch break playing around with MS Paint, tweaking the design and getting more and more psyched about the adventure. I’m not sure why I was getting so into this new thing. Maybe because it was an experience I had never had, and might never have again. Maybe because it was a way to rebel and do something absolutely foolish. Maybe because I’m trying to recapture some youth. At any rate, I was having fun, and as soon as I got done with a presentation to a bunch of supervisor trainees, I raced home and got ready.

The shop was right around the corner for my house, so getting there didn’t take long. When we walked in, the strong odor of cheap incense smacked us full in the face. I don’t mind incense; I medidated at the Tibetan Buddhist temple in Nashville and they used the stuff by the pound. But this was cheap, and my head soon developed a pretty nice headache. We looked around while waiting for the clerk to wait on us. The walls were wood panel, and decorated with random bits of cheap kitsch meant to convey a menacing tone. Ceremonial daggers, skulls, etc. Normally I like the goth stuff, especially in the fall and winter months. But this was haphazard and tacky. And dingy. When I'm thinking of having needles and my skin meet, the last thing I want to worry about is how dirty everything is! Strike two.

Strike three came when the artist came out to meet us. I showed him the design I had chosen months, perhaps even years, ago – a simple enso that I wanted shaded blue and looking like a watercolor painting. The guy apologized and said that he only did black tattoos – line art and lettering only. He hated to do color, he added, and recommended that I come back on Tuesday to meet the color artist. Pooh and I left, and I felt a little dejected. Putting things in a Buddhist context, I was clinging to the idea of getting a tattoo with Pooh, and when this plan went awry, suffering ensued.

So off we went to the other nearby shop I had scoped out online. Btw, for future reference, if you are ever checking tattoo places out, visit in person. Pictures never convey the whole vibe of a place, nor does a picture of a smiling dude holding a needle tell whether or not the guy knows what he’s doing.
Second place had a line and only one tattoo artist. He told us to call Saturday around 3 to see if he could squeeze us in. This wasn’t doable by our schedule, so off we went again.

So now I’m sitting here at work, without the tattoo I had told everyone I was getting. Not the end of the world, but disappointing nonetheless. One Ring suggested I call up a shop in downtown Nashville that is also an art gallery. The tattoos they have on display on their website are absolutely stunning. They don’t open until 1 though, so I’m going to have to wait to call and see if they have openings for this weekend. I imagine that they are in high demand, so I’m not getting my hopes up too much. I’m also still playing with the design, so it’s probably for the best that I didn’t get it done. If there’s one thing I don’t want, it’s regret for the next forty years of my life or an expensive laser removal treatment!

As I look back on this weekend, with the disappointment and irritation brought by derailing of my tattoo adventure, I realize just how far I need to go on this journey of controlling my ego and my desires as well as developing mindfulness. The fact that my mood went sour for the rest of the day, even though I recognized the reasons behind it (cravings, etc.), shows me that I’m not as far along as I want to be. Of course, even that statement shows that I have desires about my spiritual and psychological development, which brings even more suffering. Sheesh.
Oh, well. Life goes on. If there wasn’t progress to be made, and learning and growth to be done, I guess there wouldn’t be much in life that was exciting! I suppose that where I am, tattoo or no, is where I am, and what happens, happens, and it is what it is. Or something like that.

I’ll try to post more later, as developments occur.

Tattoo Time!

2011-05-06T08:48:00.002-05:00

I have an appointment to get the long discussed, long planned, probably ill conceived tattoo today. Yes, it will involve the ocean. Yes, it will involve Zen. Hopefully, it won't suck!

Pictures to follow.

P.S. And yes, I know it has been several weeks since I last updated. This will change. Stuffs be happening!

I Write Like ... Who?

2011-04-25T12:47:00.003-05:00

I took an online quiz a few moments ago by sending in a sample of my writing. From this blog, I might add, and not from the chart notes or the more official sounding letters I have to write at work. This was the result:

I write like
Cory Doctorow

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

So I looked up the dude on Amazon.com, and it turns out that Gasp! Shock! he's a blogger, among other things. He's also a sci-fi novelist, which doesn't suck, either. Wonder if the local library carries his stuff? Have to check on that. Here's some more information on him, if you're so inclined to look him up.

I'm going to put in a full post later, as soon as my brains stop hurting. I hate pollen season. I really, really do.

At Least I'm Honest About It.

2011-04-19T12:35:00.006-05:00

It's been that kind of day. I can't talk about what happens at work, due to all kinds of rules, regulations, mores, ethics, details, forms in triplicate, standards, and people in suits who wear dark glasses (sometimes). But let's just say that lying usually factors into it one way or another. And that gets old really, really, fast. So the real struggle, lately, is finding ways to keep going even as the insanity of the workplace increases exponentially, sometimes to the point where I expect the laws of physics to break down and the game of "opposite day" that we played as children to become reality.

I guess the big question is: how crazy should one be in order to out crazy the crazies, and thus remain sane?

Or something like that. Life is a paradox, you know.

Anywho ...

Ugh ... my head hurts. Pollen has been off the charts here. In fact three of the top 5 "Worst places for pollen in the US" are in Tennessee. Which means I REALLY want to be somewhere else! One Ring and the Dude are both feeling low, and I suspect this is the reason.

The day is finally winding down now, and I'm taking a moment away from paperwork and client sessions to try and gather myself for what comes after work. Today that means picking up the Dude from day care and then going home and mowing the lawn. It's a beautiful day (aside from the pollen), so I really shouldn't complain about having to mow grass. Great way to practice mindfulness, walking meditation, etc., etc. Except that I HATE MOWING THE LAWN! One Ring won't let me pave it, though, and I suspect that the neighborhood association - miserable bunch of lubbers that they are - would protest as well. So there it is, all weeds. And here I am, going to mow it.

I keep telling One Ring that we need to follow John "Ol' Chumbucket" Bauer's lead and move to the Caribbean. She can write her dissertation on the beach, and I can - I don't know - open an expensive therapeutic retreat center for people who actually pay for their therapy! What's not to like about that? It's not like people won't want to visit us!

One day, lads. One day ...

Until then, it's guitar lessons and pedal building projects. My Brian May Treble Booster hit yet another snag the other day when I discovered that there was a missing capacitor that was on the diagram but not on the parts list. And since most of the Radio Shacks around us have died, I had to order the 35 cent part and have it shipped. Hopefully that will fix everything and the "Killer Queen," as I'm calling it, will work. If not, I may have to rethink this hobby. I still need to pull the Tube Screamer clone apart and rewire it. Not looking forward to that chore, but considering the money I've sunk into it, I really don't want to have to toss it or scrap it for parts.

Well, theh hour is moving on and the paperwork isn't getting any smaller. Hopefully I'll be able to write more tomorrow.

The Best of Both (of my) Worlds!

2011-04-19T11:24:00.003-05:00

I plan on blogging more this afternoon (assuming the work insanity dies down), but when I came across this at Pirate Mod's website, I had to post right away. I think it suits me just fine!

So if you happen to bump into One Ring, tell her that this would make a great gift. : )

More later ...

Ho, Hum

2011-04-11T10:37:00.002-05:00

Nothing much eventful of late, either pirate related or otherwise. Life has been encompassed by my new role as father. I’m only working a half-day today as I have to take the Dude in for his 4 month shots and examination. Not looking forward to that at all, but I am pleased to give One Ring a break from hearing him cry. She took it hard when he got his first round, and I really don’t want to see her suffer like that again. Fortunately, at this stage of life he really doesn’t have his long term memory developed, so he’ll forget it once the pain dies away. I’ll just hang at the house and console him until One Ring gets home from work.

In other news, Pirates of the Caribbean 4 (“On Stranger Tides”) is coming out soon. Disney World is adding a woman pirate to the mix (played in the movie by Penelope Cruz), over by the ride and The Pirates League, where they dress children (and adults) up as pirates. I’ve already promised the Dude that when he’s old enough, we’re both going to get dressed up. Of course, he’s four months old, so this won’t happen for quite a while!

I’m actually looking forward to the movie for a couple of reasons. One, because I’ve read the book and found it to be an entertaining, although not realistic at all, read. And two, I’m psyched because Blackbeard is a main character. He’s played by Ian Mcshane, and from the trailers it appears that he’s doing a pretty good rendition of the historical pirate. You might recall that I grew up in Virginia Beach, VA, not far from where Blackbeard was captured in North Carolina, and even closer from where the British force that did the deed was sent (Norfolk, VA). Every year in Hampton, VA there’s the Blackbeard Festival. I’d love to be able to get home again to see it, but unfortunately we have too much on our plate this year.

In terms of Sea related news in me life, the only major thing is that I’m still working with sea glass and polymer clay. I am trying to create realistic looking driftwood beads out of clay and stringing them with wire wrapped sea glass to create chokers. I’ve got one done so far, but the beads came out more tan than gray. They look fine – more like sand than driftwood – so the effect is still “beach-y.” But I still want driftwood, so it’s back to the drawing board. One Ring, Dude, and I are heading back to VB around the fourth, so hopefully I’ll have a couple done by then to give as gifts to my family.

Music news is still not really exciting, either. I’m getting more and more into the Blues, and have upgraded the pickups in my Laguna with Bill Lawrence single coils and a humbucker to get that bluesy sound. I had to tear apart my Tubescreamer clone build and someday I hope to be able to de-solder and redo the wiring so I can prevent the shorting and other issues that rendered it inoperative after a few weeks of use. I’ve started the Brian May Treble Booster project, which I’m calling the “Killer Queen.” I still have to solder the components, but it’s a much simpler build than the TS, so it should be done shortly. Aside from the cosmetic touches, that is. I need to print out decals, paint the enclosure red, and possibly do some other things to make it look good. Even more important, I have to make sure it WORKS. Which, in my experience with DIY guitar pedal building, is easier said than done.

Okay, that’s enough for now. I need to clean up a few things here at the office and then get the Dude to the doctor. Poor guy. I know it’s for all the right reasons and necessary, but I hate to see him hurt.

Accounting for Lost Time

2011-03-23T14:55:00.002-05:00

I've been mulling over writing a post or two detailing my adventures during my absence from updating this here blog. In amongst the ups and downs of life, I've wavered between the opinions of "Hey, I want to write down every little thing that's happened!" to "I'm not sure I'll ever write an entry again!" Obviously, I've decided to write something, and it will probably be somewhere in the middle. I tend to take the middle path, which usually works for me unless we're talking about walking down roads ...

So, where have I been, what have I been doing, why have I decided to write again, and why would anyone even care?

Of course, the biggest reason for my absence is this li'l swab right here:

Simon - someday to be the "Dread Pirate" Simon, "Black" Simon, or even "Don't ever think I was named after Simon Cowell!" Simon - was born on December 9th. And yes, his room is decorated in an aquatic / nautical theme and he has a jar with sand and doubloons on his bureau!

After years of thinking that I was going to be a selfish, curmudgeonly old childless man of the sea, (God, Karma, the Universe, etc. Fill in your choice here) decided that such was not to be. Simon hit our home port like a hurricane, swamping our plans and causing us to rethink everything about how the rest of our lives are going to play out. Needless to say, my thoughts of going on account and fleeing to the Caymans will not be coming to fruition!

Today was his first day at day care, which fortunately is located in the very hospital where I work. Unfortunately, it means that I am no longer thinking about work at all, and only wondering about how many trips I can make over there before someone wises up to the fact that I'm not working! At any rate, we'll be carpooling until One Ring finishes her dissertation and gets ready to graduate. After that comes the big move to parts unknown. I've checked all of the preferred pirate-y spots - St. Croix, the Caymans, St. Thomas, Port Royal, etc. - and unfortunately no one thought to build major universities in any of those sites. So it looks, again, like I'll be living like a lubber until fortunes change.

In the meantime, I'm still in this land-locked state of Tennessee, and was gradually being bled dry of my love of all things nautical. I had almost decided to scuttle this ship o' the internet for good, and keep it only has a handy way to link to some of my interests. But then something wonderful happened. I saw the ocean again.

Last month One Ring, Simon, and I headed home to the coast of Virginia to see family and friends. While there I walked on the shore of the Chesapeake Bay (which has its own pirate history, thank you very much!), breathed in its salty air, and collected sea glass. It was like falling in love all over again. I even made a choker using the sea glass. The beads were designed to reflect the beach, with greys and tans for the driftwood and sand found there.
And I knew that, no matter where I be holed up, I be a pirate for life, matey!

But after that it was back to Tennessee and work and guitar lessons and whatever else I could do to keep me out of trouble (until I get me a ship, that is ... then all bets are off!). I had a custom electric guitar built by my instructor - he's starting his own luthier business - and it just ROCKS. Dual humbuckers, the bridge is a Van Halen and the neck one is a Van Zandt. Now I just have to get better at playing it! I've gotten into the Blues, so that neck pickup just shines when I solo.

Also in music news, I built a Tubescreamer clone pedal from a kit. I didn't really need it, due to the fact that I own a Line 6 Spider IV modeling amp, but it was a lot of fun learning how pedals work and building my own. And, to be honest, I think the pedal sounds better than the amp. But I could be biased. I need to work some bugs out of the circuitry, though. My soldering was not the best - it was a first attempt - so I may have to go back and redo some of the joints.

Okay, time to wrap this up and go see how me first matey is doing in day care. It be lunch time.

All I can say is ...

2011-03-10T10:40:00.003-06:00

... if your ships run aground on a reef, and you still paddle upriver to sack a city (in this case Panama City - then called Panama Viejo), you are one determined pirate! Henry Morgan did exactly that in 1671, when his flagship, Satisfaction, and its three sister ships all crashed into a reef. He and his troops went up the river, marched through the jungle, and plundered and pillaged the their hearts content.

What makes this news today is that archeologists have found cannons from the wreck site. That this is huge archeological news goes without saying. The survey and excavation of the area is ongoing, so I'm sure I'll be posting new reports as they become available. And once there's a website created for the Satisfaction wreck, I'll post a link there as well.

On a somewhat lighter note, the Captain Morgan Rum Company awarded a BARREL of spiced rum to each member of the expedition, renamed a section of the distillery after them, and promised an unspecified monetary reward if they find bottles of the Morgan's rum still believed to be buried on the site. Here's a link to that article.

All of which leads me to ask, "Why can't I get a job like that???"

Thanks to Bilge Munkey for alerting me about this!

Because Irish Pirates Have Better Luck!

2011-03-10T09:09:00.003-06:00

Pirate Mod is having a sale on St. Patrick's Day related Pirate shirts and accessories. Just thought I'd throw that out there, in case anyone is feeling kind and generous and wants to buy me a present. Just sayin'.

Because it Worked Oh, So Well the Last Time

2011-03-09T09:04:00.003-06:00

Yep, the Somali aquatic terrorist brigade are once again after the Maersk Alabama. I guess having Navy SEAL snipers wiping out your team isn't enough of a wake up call.

And, as an aside, they are not pirates! The proper designation should be something else, since they are land based out of Somalia and not free roaming and sea based like the pirates of the Golden Age. As Mark Summers, who co-founded the annual Talk Like a Pirate Day, says in a WSJ article, "There ought to be a different word for pirates in their current incarnation." He suggests, according to the same article, "sea-thugs, boat-muggers, or kelp-festooned kidnappers." I tend to agree, no matter what the United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea says.

Anyway, this latest attack on the Maersk Alabama was an abysmal failure, too. I guess you could say, in the words of my in-laws, "Roll Tide!"

Early Art from The Pirates of the Caribbean (the ride)

2011-03-08T14:28:00.007-06:00

I was surfing the web yesterday, looking for something interesting to post ... pirate related, of course. I happened by chance upon these early postcards drawn by Mark Davis, one of the original artists who designed the Pirates of The Caribbean ride at Walt Disney World. Here's the link to the whole set, and here are a few examples if you don't want to go to the site.

I don't know why, but the skeleton helmsman is one of my favorite displays of the ride. Whereas most of Pirates leans towards humor (although my wife continues to point out that the sale of women is always, always, always wrong!), the first few scenes are very dark. There are the skeletons of sailors killed before they could (presumably) give up the location of buried treasure, and then the above scene. And the whole while the ominous voice is proclaiming that "Dead men tell no tales!" I love it!

Interesting also are the bits of wisdom offered up.

But, of course, not all of the postcard art is of the skeletons. Some are quite humorous. Case in point.

Here's the link again to see the whole collection.

Careening the Hull

2011-03-07T13:52:00.003-06:00

Boring day at work today, so I'm taking the time to do some much needed repairs to me ship o' the net. Old links have been removed, new ones added, and I've moved sections to where they flow better topic-wise. As always, the preferred subject will be the Golden Age of Piracy and related topics, but aside from the upcoming Pirates of the Caribbean movie - based on a Tim Powers novel that I've read and will review here at some point - such topics are few and far between here in the landlocked state of Tennessee. So other bits of flotsam and jetsam will surely wash on board every now and then.

All of which to say that the jolly roger will once again be hoisted. Watch the horizon, mateys!

Yes, I am a Pirate

2011-03-04T08:59:00.003-06:00

Avast there mateys! I be alive and kickin', and find meself finally coming back from my exile deep within this here land locked state. A lot of miles and adventures have transpired since I last wrote an entry in me logbook, and a word or three is long overdue.

So I be plannin' to redesign the blog and drastically increase the entries, add and remove some links, and do my best to make this space worth my and your time here. No more aimless sailing about!

So keep a weather eye on this ledger. Stuff be happening!

Coffee Isn't Helping

2010-10-19T09:10:00.004-05:00

One Ring once told me of a classmate of hers at Furman University who had the habit of walking around campus saying, "Oh, wretched day!" while drinking whiskey out of a McDonald's Ice Tea cup. Yes, someone out there really says, "Oh, wretched day!"

For some reason, that story has stuck with me, and there have been mornings where I've walked into the kitchen for breakfast and repeated that line, often receiving a chuckle from One Ring in response. Usually - 90% of the time, I'd guess - it's been a joke, a way of melodramatically expressing my irritation at an upcoming event. But sometimes I feel as if that silly statement is oh, so true, and so accurate.

Yesterday was one of those days. Today isn't looking so hot, either. Two cups of coffee and I'm still not up and running ...

I'm not saying that there were plenty of times when I was doing cartwheels because of my work. The job has its rewarding moments, to be certain, but let's face it - it's called work for a reason. Work is work. It's not play; it's not fun and games. No matter how much I wish otherwise, it will never be one of those jobs that the rare person has; the one they enjoy so much that they exclaim, "I can't believe I'm getting paid for this!" I've dreamed of getting a job like that, as has every other human being, but so far, no joy.

So, what’s going on? My favorite holiday is 11 days away, so I should be as excited as a child on Christmas morning. And yet, I told One Ring last night – as we went to the craft store to purchase yet another batch of clay for my craft class and saw the picked over shelves of Halloween decorations and craft projects - that I felt like I had already missed it. For some reason, the build up and anticipation of all kinds of scary movie watching, pumpkin carving, and house decorating has turned into an emotional “Meh. Whatever.”

Not good.

Usually when I have a client who is suffering from dystthymea – which is nothing but a fancy schmancy word for chronic mild depression – I ask what’s changed in their lives. Usually a core issue can be detected after a short time digging around the conscious or sub-conscious. At least with my patient body, that seems to be the case. So I’ve been turning my eye inward in an attempt to see what is going on. And aside from some recent setbacks in my guitar lessons, some mild frustrations at work and in my clay class (I’ve only been able to teach twice since I started due to lack of interested parties.), the only major event in my life is the pending birth of my son. Which I guess is reason enough to be freaking out and riding an emotional roller coaster, but during those moments where I’m mourning the loss of independence and spontaneity, I feel as if I shouldn’t be having those feelings. And, as we all know, feelings suppressed become feelings expressed in other ways – usually emotional outbursts, resentments, or a depressive withdrawal from participation and interaction with others.

In other words, we have a winner. Despite looking forward to Simon’s birth (My selection of “H.R. Puffinstuff” for his name was soundly rejected.), I’m also resenting the changes and chaos he’s bringing in his wake. And it is this, of course, which makes me feel lousy. I imagine lots of fathers feel this way, and that it is this which leads to absenteeism on the daddy-side. I’m not going to do that (Death, first!), having experienced that first hand twice – first with actual absenteeism and abuse, the second time with emotional absenteeism. But still, the mixed emotions are there.

So there you go. That’s why I haven’t been posting. That’s why I’m having sleep issues. That’s why my productivity at work is at an all time low, and that’s why I’ve occasionally joked with One Ring that I’m going to nickname Simon “Buzz-Kill.” She laughed, so I guess I’ll live until she gets tired of that joke!
Okay, time to go back and pretend to work.

I Need Time with My Creative Outlets

2010-10-06T09:33:00.004-05:00

Please note that the following has absolutely nothing to do with pirates, except perhaps on a (very) peripheral level. Nope, once again I am talking about my need for creative expression, the occasional change, and something really awesome that I experienced this past weekend in Lousiville, KY. Yes, that's right. I said Kentucky.

I will always be the first one to admit that I look down upon land locked states. I think having the good fortune - though I didn't realize it at the time - to grow up on the coast of Virginia, mere minutes from both the Chesapeake Bay and the Atlantic Ocean, has seriously jaded my view that life is possible anywhere else. It is, of course, but why would anyone want to do it? As One Ring and I unpacked in the B&B we had booked for the weekend, I noticed instructions hanging on the wall. Instructions, I might add, for what to do in case the tornado alarm sounded. My comment to One Ring, if I recall correctly, was something to the effect of, "Why would anyone live in a place where tornados can pop up without warning?"

By the way, going to Louisville was her idea. Not that I complained. I was happy to get away, and, as it turned out, the city redeemed itself in my eyes with a show of cultural and artistic expression that is seriously lacking in many places I've called home (I'm talking to you Chelyabinsk!). I just found this website about that Russian city, and now I have even more reason to worry!

So, here's what I'm talking about in terms of needing some more time being creative:

Lately, my clay work and guitar playing has been limited. Some of this has been caused by other commitments, a bit by wanting to spend more time with One Ring (I used to practice when her brother came over), and mostly by my being exhausted when I get home from work and getting hooked on City of Heroes. So, even though I'm happy with my first attempt at a clay pumpkin (see previous post), I haven't been able to make any more. Bead making is not happening, and two of my clay classes were cancelled due to lack of interest. So there you go. There's also a minor issue with my dog going crazy when light hits my tools and reflects onto the ceilings and walls, but I won't go into that.

What made this trip to Louisville so awesome was that I was able to fulfill a lifelong dream. When I was a child, my family went to Jamestown, VA to see the first permanent colonial settlement. There we were able to watch craftspeople blow glass and create wine glasses, decanters, plats, cups, and so on. I actually took One Ring there while we were dating (or soon after we were married - sorry, dear, I can't remember!) and bought a couple of wine glasses. By then I was hooked. I wanted to try my hand at blowing glass.

One Ring knew of my dream, although I don't think I mentioned it for years. She set up a glass blowing class for me at Glassworks, in Louisville's museum district. To say I enjoyed my brief time there would be an absolute understatement. Although I didn't do too much of the blowing process (a modest couple of puffs down a long pole was pretty much the extent of my labor) due to the liability of having noobs stumbling around a 2200 degree furnace, I was still thrilled at being able to participate in the process. As the website shows, my project was creating a pumpkin. I wanted to do one with purple specs on an orange background. For reasons unknown to me, it turned out exactly opposite. But I love the finished project anyway!

I can easily see how people can become addicted to this. The woman who took my money (twice - I bought a t-shirt the next day when we returned to get the pumpkin) said that they get return customers all the time.

This experience brought to mind just how much I enjoy the creative process, evein if I'm only watching works of art coming into existence. It also made me aware of how lax I have become in working on my own projects. Essentially, I've allowed myself to become a lump, surfing the web during boring moments at work (like now), and doing next to nothing when I return home. But with my favorite time of the year now in place, and all sorts of ideas roaring about between my ears, the main message is that I need to shift into overdrive and get some stuff done! So, clay tonight while One Ring is at a meeting. Then guitar practice, since I'm having a guitar built by my instructor. It would be seriously lame if I pour all kinds of money into the guitar, only to find that I can't play well because I haven't done anything with the one I already own!

So the motivation is in place. Now I just need to translate it into action!

First Halloween Sculpture of the Season

2010-09-20T12:50:00.004-05:00

But definitely not the last. I hope to have a few of these guys done before the big day rolls around!

Polymer clay around an alluminum foil core. The design was inspired by the people at Killer Pumpkins. Mind you, this is only a rough beginning. Hopefully they'll get better with practice!

New Links

2010-09-16T15:55:00.003-05:00

Continuing my link-luv for the Halloween season, here's the latest batch of websites that have sparked my fancy. I'll get organized in the columns on the right side of the screen at some point, but for now, the horror/Halloween stuff is going to remain mixed in with everything else.

Oh, one more thing: Three days until "Talk Like a Pirate Day!"

And now for the links:

Pumpkinrot

Stolloween

The Raven's Barrow

Hauntcast - Radio for Haunters and Halloween Fanatics

Oct31st.org

Haunted Cauldron

The Dead End

There! That should keep you busy for a while!

Why Didn't I Think of This?

2010-09-15T09:51:00.002-05:00

Awesomeness. Pure awesomeness. And no, I'm not even sure that's a word!

We pause in our preparations for Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept. 19th!) to look at what I SHOULD have put together back when One Ring and I were married in 1999. Oh, well. If we ever do a vow renewal, this is definitely on the list for BEST DECOR EVAH!

Haunted Mansion Wedding

New Halloween Link

2010-09-14T16:38:00.002-05:00

Okay, so work took longer today than I thought it would (and with my hours being extended to 9 Monday through Thursday, that means there was A LOT of work). Anyway, i'm going to point you towards a website that I just discovered today. Killer Pumpkins is the work of John Pellico and is positively chock full of awesomeness. I'm thinking of designing (if I ever get a free moment between now and Halloween) a polymer clay pumpkin sculpture based on one of his paintings. Anyway, look and enjoy.

Adrift

2010-09-14T14:45:00.002-05:00

One Ring brought to my attention the fact that I have not put finger to keyboard for this blog in quite some time. Even after I had a good run of putting up at 6 or so posts per month (waaaaay down from years past), it seems I have run into the writer's equivalent of the Sargasso Sea, and am up to my gunports in seaweed!

So, here's what's going on:

1) One Ring and I (and her parents) put together the nursery for Simon. He's due on December 16, and preparations for his arrival are well in hand.

2) Clay classes at the craft store are in full swing. I'm not too crazy about the projects that the store selected for this month, but it's a way of crafting while getting paid for it. And that, maties, is not a bad thing at all!

3) Important days to remember: Talk Like a Pirate Day is this Sunday, September 19th! In other important news, Halloween is approximately 47 days away! Now if someone can point me in the direction of a good ghostly pirate story that I haven't seen / read yet, I would be grateful!

4) Work is ... work. Enough said there. I'm thankful beyond measure to have a job, but when One Ring, her parents, and I went to the treasure coast of Florida for a (all too) brief vacation, the idea of not returning entered my mind many a time!

Okay. More will be posted shortly, as links and Halloween issues abound!

Being Hot is Okay ...

2010-08-20T10:45:00.003-05:00

... but there are limits. Our A/C went out earlier this week, and when the temp INSIDE our home reached 93 degrees, One Ring decided that it was time to head to a hotel. The dogs went into a kennel, various repair people were called in, and here we are, in a holding pattern, adrift with no wind in the sails, waiting for something to positive to happen. And I'm at work, waiting to go home at 11:30.

Update: One Ring just called. Looks like it may take up to a week to get the new A/C - heat pump system installed. Good news is that they're installing a window unit to keep us sane until then. We're keeping the dogs in the kennel until we can figure out how that works out.

Pirate update: With all this heat, both here and on the Treasure Coast of Florida, my thoughts have turned every now and then towards colder climates and seasons. Today, while looking at the Talk Like a Pirate Day website, I came across a link for ... wait for it ... Russian Pirates!

Some of you may know that yours truly has a fairly worthless bachelor degree in Russian Linguistics, and spent a cold Siberian winter there. Needless to say, this left a bad taste in my mouth (Think REALLY bad rum!), and sent me straight for warmer waters. But now that I've found this site - though I find I'm having trouble reading it! (It's in Russian. I suggest using Babelfish to read it.) - I may have to rethink my opinion of things Pycckii (that's as close as an English keyboard and this blog thingy can get to Cyrillic!).

Off to sweat in the heat.

More Oceanic Crafts

2010-08-16T23:10:00.005-05:00

We're back from Vero Beach, and there are lots of pictures and memories to talk about, not the least of which was getting to see what passed for romance back in 1715(and yes, it is related to the destruction of the Spanish treasure fleet that year!)!

But before I post more about that (I need to get the pictures off the camera, organize them, etc.), tonight was craft night again in our house, as we attempt to recover from the whirlwind trip to the treasure coast of Florida. I packed a shark tooth necklace that I had picked up in my home port a few years back. CHeap thing, except for the tooth, everything there was a sloppy third rate job. I noticed that the cord was starting to go, again, and this time super glue wasn't going to save the day. Plus One Ring panics everytime I pick the stuff up (long story). So the only thing to do was to tear it apart, replace the cheap parts, keep the spacers, and make my own beads. Oh, and restring everything on a choker that I learned how to knot thanks to this website. Awesome folks there, and easy to follow instructions. I really like the finished project, too. I was going for turquoise, but I don't think I got all that close. Oh, well. One Ring still thinks they look funky. In a good way, I believe. She seemed happy with them. So without further ado, here's the latest pirate chaplain wear for 2010:

More later, during a dull moment at work.

The Next Adventure

2010-08-12T15:49:00.002-05:00

One Ring and I are just a few hours away from jetting off for Florida! Not Disney World this time, but something with a real pirate connection. Vero Beach (and the surrounding area) is not only a tourist spot, but the site of the famous 1715 wreck of the Spanish Treasure Fleet. Coins and relics of all kinds have been recovered from those waters, and while I don't expect to find anything during walks on the beach, we will probably be visiting a museum or two dedicated to the wrecks and recoveries. In case you didn't know, this was the same disaster that caused Sam Bellamy to give up working his low paying career as a sailor and take up piracy.

I'll post more on this later, but for now it's time to start my vacation!

The Kraken's Grip Tightens ...

2010-08-09T12:22:00.003-05:00

Work on the Kraken desk set continued this weekend, with a brief pause taken so I could make a pair of earrings for One Ring (she needed something to match a new maternity dress). Once that was done, the beastie emerged, threatening to drag my incorrectly printed business cards down to the locker. It turns out, though, that Krakens are easily tamed, and capable of doing all sorts of office work!

I still need to complete the pen holder, and perhaps make some modifications on a stapler, but that's going to have to wait. There's plenty of craftin' to be done before class time arrives.

Here's some pictures of the business card holder.

Better pictures of the Kraken Pens

2010-08-06T22:52:00.004-05:00

I made the second pen last night, attempting to blend where the tentacles come out of the darkest depths and crawl towards the surface. I glazed it tonight and took some better pictures, standing both pens up against the Lovecraft stories that inspired them (along with the second and third Pirates of the Caribbean movies, of course). I've drawn out plans for a business card and pen holders, and hope to work on them this weekend, if all goes well. I fully expect my coworkers to think that I'm one wave short of a shipwreck!

Enjoy.

Krakens on the Brain

2010-08-05T14:54:00.003-05:00

After posting pictures and receiving comments about the Kraken pen on a couple of other websites, I've found myself doodling during the more boring moments at work. Much to my surprise and horror, I discovered that I've drawn the designs for an ENTIRE KRAKEN OFFICE SET!

Sounds like something from The Call of Cthulhu! Guess the "Deep Ones" are rising ...

If You Can't Find the Kraken ... Make One!

2010-08-05T11:33:00.010-05:00

So I've been sailing on this polymer clay sculpting kick for a few months now, to the point where I've sunk not a few dubloons into supplies and even signed up to teach a few classes starting this month. But now my love for the sea, pirates, and sea monsters has collided with my new hobby.

The odd convergence began when I was looking at designs for me boy's room. Lots of aquatic themed flotsam and jetsam, of course. Then I came across this line of decor from Disney, home of what is probably the most famous (currently, anyway) fictional pirate of all time. All at once it hit me. The Kraken ... in clay. Not the who beastie, mind you. Unlike the third rate Kraken that was shown in that cursed remake of Clash of the Titans, Disney had the right idea in keeping the baddest cephalopod ever mostly hidden underwater. In fact, you don't even see what it looks like until the third film, when it's dead, and even then it's hard to tell if it's a really big Giant Squid, monster Octopus or something else entirely.

So, thought I. I need to show tentacles and tentacles only. Add a sense of the monster coming up from the depths, ready to strike an unsuspecting ship. And, since I was working on pens anyway, Make it useful.

Maties, I give you ... The Kraken Pen!

I do, of course, have some ideas for improving the design, in particular the way the tentacles blend with the pen near the tip. I also saw how someone made a business card holder with polymer clay, and this has already got me thinking that the Kraken will have its tentacles poking around my office very soon!

I seem to have Squid and octopus on the brain. I wonder if it be terminal? : )

Worth Repeating

2010-08-02T09:40:00.003-05:00

Found this on the Gods Playing Poker website. Normally I don't repost their comics, but this one struck a chord with me. One of the first messages I came across that attracted me to Buddhism was a quote attributed to Siddharta himself. I liked it so much that I printed it out and framed it in my church office, where it caused quite a few double takes. It reads:

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.

Seems to me that many of the problems we are having today, in religion, politics and cultural clashes, are due to the fact that we take others' words as absolute truth. We accept them without thinking. If someone on FOX or MSNBC or CNN says it, it must be true and I need to act accordingly. Check your brain at the door and fall in lockstep with your fellow sheep.

Doing that is easy enough, but it allows everyone else in the world to take advantage of you - heart, mind, and soul. And in taking advantage of you, they put you and your loved ones in harm's way. Even if their motives are pure, blind faith, as the Boss said in his remake of the great song War, "will only get you killed." So in that spirit, here's today's post from God's Playing Poker:

So get out there and start thinking!

Time Wasters

2010-07-28T11:49:00.004-05:00

I just found this online while looking for ideas for polymer clay sculpting. Oh, yeah, forgot to mention that. In addition to the BIG news, I'm teaching a clay sculpting class at a local craft store. Aye, I got bored one day and decided, "Why not?" It won't bring in much in the way of coinage, but it'll keep me out of One Ring's hair during the latter stages of her pregnancy. She's appreciative of that small favor. Anyway, the following meme was posted on Ametista's blog.

If I were a month, I'd be late October.
If I were a day, I’d be Saturday.
If I were a time of day, I'd be just after midnight.
If I were a font, I'd be visitation.
If I were a sea animal, I'd be a Giant Squid.
If I were a direction, I’d be North.
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be a an armoire.
If I were a liquid, I’d be coffee.
If I were a gemstone, I'd be a blue topaz.
If I were a tree, I'd be an maple.
If I were a tool, I’d be a Swiss Army Knife.
If I were a flower, I'd be a snapdragon.
If I were an element of weather, I'd be a nor'easter.
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be my guitar.
If I were a color, I’d be grey.
if i were an emotion, I’d be serenity.
If I were a fruit, I'd be a McIntosh apple.
If I were a sound, I’d be the waves on the ocean.
If I were an element, I’d be water.
If I were a car, I'd transform into a schooner. It's my list, ya lubber!
If I were a food, I'd be sushi.
If I were a place, I’d be the Caribbean.
If I were material, I'd be cotton!
If i were a taste, I’d be sweet with a slightly bitter aftertaste.
If I were a scent, I’d be an ocean breeze.
If I were a body part, I’d be the brain.
If I were a song, I'd be "This is Halloween" by Danny Elfman.
If I were a bird, I'd be a Raven.
If I were a gift, I’d be the one that changes your life.
If I were a city, I'd be London, England.
If I were a door, I’d have squeaky hinges.
If I were a pair of shoes, I'd be a well worn pair of pirate boots.
If I were a poem, I'd be "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe

We're Having a Boy!!!

2010-07-28T10:57:00.007-05:00

One Ring and I went to the doctor yesterday for the third ultrasound. It's official - the little swab is a boy! This kinda caught us off guard; people have been saying for weeks, if not months, that we were having a girl, based on everything from "psychic intuition" to old wives tales / techniques to a Chinese birth calendar! But the pictures clearly show boy parts, which goes to show you how reliable all those other divination ways are! Yep, a future pirate captain is on deck and ready to take command!

We're elated of course, and are now racing around shopping to prepare a cabin worthy of a son of the Pirate Chaplain. I even bought his first onesie today:

We're aiming at striking fear at the day care, savvy?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be at the f0c'sle ... hyperventilating!

Looking Good, Big Guy!

2010-07-27T08:59:00.004-05:00

In distinctly un-piratey news (unless someone steals the movie, that is), Legendary Studios released some information yesterday about the new Godzilla movie. It's due out in 2012, and while that's still a long way off, it looks like everything is heading in the right direction. Maybe now all the G-fans of the world can forget about that 1998 Matthew Broderick train wreck! By the way, if you ever want to see Toho's "revenge" for that mess, check out Godzilla: Final Wars. The "real" G puts it down in about 10 seconds of film time! The American G ends up somewhere in this exposion:

With that little bit of business out of the way, we can all safely look forward to 2012 ... unless the Mayans (or rather the nutjobs who did a really lousy job of interpreting the Mayan calendar!) are right!

12 Days Later ...

2010-07-26T10:43:00.003-05:00

... after my last promise to blog more, here I am. Not a good track record, not by a shot with a long 9. But, never let it be said that a pirate is on time with anything! I sail with the tide, but that's about the only thing I manage to do by the clock. Feel free to add some more nautical themed statements excusing tardiness if you like, because I need to move on and get to:

THE FIRST EVER HORROR BLOGGER'S MEME!

Which, of course, I have modified where appropriate to fit the inside of my own warped psyche.

1: In Ten Words or Less, Describe Your Blog:

Whatever the heck I want to talk about today.

2: During What Cinematic Era Where you Born?
A: The Classic Horror Era (late 30's to 40's)
B: The Atomic Monster/Nuclear Angst Era (the late 40's through 50's)
C: The Psycho Era ( Early 60's)
D: The Rosemary's Baby Era (Mid to Late 60's)
E: The Exorcism Era (Early to mid 70's)
F: The Halloween Era (Late 70's to Early 80's)
G: The Slasher Era (Mid to late 80's)
H: The Self Referential/Post Modern Era (1990 to 1999)

I was born during the exorcism era, which had more of an impact on my parents than on me, in that it inspired all that "Satan is after our children!" fear of the 80s. I credit this for convincing my mother to repeatedly attack and destroy my Dungeons and Dragons books, my heavy metal cassette tapes, and comic books. Thanks Exorcism era!

3: The Carrie Compatibility Question:
(gay men and straight women - make your choice from section A)
A: Billy Nolan or Tommy Ross, who would you take to the prom?
(straight guys and lesbians - make your choice from section B)
B: Sue Snell or Chris Hargensen, who would you take to the prom?

Probably Sue Snell, although I had a really rough time in high school with dates. As a result, I probably wouldn't go to the prom at all, let alone with Sue! On the positive side, I'd end up living through the evening! Of course, being that she ends up somewhat crazy, I probably would have ended up dating her after prom. Yeah, I had that kind of track record.

4: You have been given an ungodly amount of money, and total control of a major motion picture studio - what would your dream movie project be?

I would make a Cthulhu movie that was actually good, and I would do it by actually sticking to the story, instead of tossing a few of Lovecraft's ideas into a blender and naming the film after a story that has nothing to do with the subject matter - I'm talking to you, Cthulhu! And you, Dagon! (Both of which had more "Shadow of Innsmouth" than Call of Cthulhu and Dagon, respectively).

5: What film "franchise" that others have embraced, left you cold?

The Alien / Predator franchises. The first Predator movie was good, the second was even better (Gary Busey getting cut in two earned bonus points). Alien was good, Aliens was excellent. But Alien 3, Alien: Resurrection, AVP and AVP: Requiem were all lousy. I haven't even seen Predators. I think the whole series jumped the shark a long time ago.

6: Is Michael Bay the Antichrist?

Absolutely. He should be stuck on an island with Uwe Boll.

7: Dracula, The Wolf Man, The Frankenstein Monster - which one of these classic villains scares you, and why?

Dracula. He's the only intelligent one of the bunch. Which means that dude can come after you in ways you can't imagine. None of that sparkly teen angst crap with this guy! He wants your blood and he's going to work every angle to get it!

8: Tell me about a scene from a NON HORROR Film that scares the crap out of you:

There's a part in Enemy of the State where you realize just how little privacy you have and how much of your life the government can destroy if they wanted to. Even though there's a "happy" ending to the film, there's still this feeling of dread. The fact that it was pre - Patriot Act makes it even more terrifying.

9: Baby Jane Hudson invites you over to her house for lunch. What do you bring?

Uhm, my own lunch? The woman serves a dead parakeet to her sister, for crying out loud!

10: So, between you and me, do you have any ulterior motives for blogging? Come, on you can tell me, it will be our little secret, I won't tell a soul.

I wanted a space to process my own theological ideas and talk about pirates. There was probably a desire to be noticed and get positive attention for my ideas as well.

11: What would you have brought to Rosemary Woodhouse's baby shower?

What do you get the son of Satan who has everything? : )

12: Godzilla vs The Cloverfield Monster, who wins?

Godzilla, hands down. Or paws down. Or whatever. We're talking atmoic breath verses the giant monster version of head lice!

13: If you found out that Rob Zombie was reading your blog, what would you post in hopes that he read it?

STOP DOING REMAKES! There's too many of them as it is.

14: What is your favorite HORROR FILM, and why?

Trick R Treat. I watched it again with friends last night, and loved every minute of it.

15: If blogging technology did not exist, what would you be doing?

Actually doing work, more than likely!

Darn You, Ennui!

2010-07-14T09:57:00.004-05:00

I'm at work. I'm bored. The doctor is out of town for two weeks, and today is one of those days that we normally reserve for her appointments and not for group therapy. No doctor = no appointments. So, I have roughly 7 1/2 hours to hang out, make a few mandatory phone calls, and twiddle my thumbs.

There are far worse things in life, I know. But if it's one thing that really manages to drive me around the bend, it's boredom. So now I need to find away to stay under the radar of my other boss and simultaneously maintain my sanity. Yes, I can hear you say, "Well, you've already lost that second battle!" Still, I have to at least go through the motions and ACT like I'm trying to maintain my sanity!

So here's the mid-month blog-a-rama update ...

Even though summer's in full swing, and this pirate's thoughts should be bending towards the Caribbean waters and rum drinks, my brain is actually skipping ahead to Halloween. No idea why, except it possibly could because it is so blasted hot that I feel like I'm about to spontaneously combust whenever I go outside. Humidity has been out of control ever since the floods hit Nashville at the beginning of May, too. And if there's one thing I can't deal with (besides boredom), it's humidity that's thick enough to walk upon. So I've been spending a lot of time indoors. I guess keeping out of the sunlight and in cool, dark rooms must be bringing out my inner goth!

So, pirates (temporarily) out. Wonderfully creepy stuff in. And there you go.

I've recently picked up a gig as a clay sculpting teacher at a local craft store. Polymer clay I mean, not the hard core, slam and turn on a wheel, Demi Moore in Ghost sort of thing. I figure that since the store rotates their stock based on the upcoming seasons and holidays, the next big change will be from summer to Halloween. So I've been looking on the interwebs for ideas to teach. Sadly, though, most of the stuff I'm seeing is all that cutesy stuff - ghosts and witches with big goofy grins, jack o'lanterns that couldn't scare away a spirit (that's what they were originally meant to do) on their best day, and vampires that look like they just stepped off of a Saturday morning cartoon. Sigh. I know that's what I'm going to have to teach, but isn't there something I out there that's sufficiently serious and spooky for my tastes? I did throw together a version of the bride character from the Haunted Mansion at Disney World. I even used glow in the dark clay. Sadly, though, when I baked it, colors in the clay ran in the thinner pieces (the veil, mostly). But it the dark, it looks pretty cool.

See? Isn't she scary?

Purists will note that I used a previous bride as the model. Eventually I'll sculpt one of Constance - the "black widow bride" - but I've always been partial to Emily. She's the bride that was supposedly the victim of a broken heart, although technically she was never a bride at all. She was betrothed to a wealthy newcomer who turned out to be a pirate (see, there's a connection after all!). He bailed on her, or was killed at sea, and she locked herself in the attic after donning her wedding dress. Her ghost haunts the attic, keeping an eternal vigil for the return of her beloved.

Yep, I'm a sucker for tragedy!

I've also come across a sculpture someone did of a raven and am planning on doing one of my own based on this work. I figure that it will either connect to the raven in the Haunted Mansion - the "Ghost Host" - or Edgar Allen Poe. Either is fine with me.

Okay, time to fake working some more. I've also been commissioned to fold 50 origami cranes, and have my guitar lesson today right after work. So I figure I can find enough to keep me occupied today.

More later.

Not So Great A Pirate's Life for Some ...

2010-07-01T09:28:00.003-05:00

Looks like some lame excuses for pirates ticked off the Feds again. As you may have figured out, based on how the Internet works, several websites started posting video files of new movie and DVD releases. Several websites were closed down, bank assets seized, and companies that advertise on those websites were also hit hard. Here's the story:

Feds crack down on Internet movie pirates, score bust

Of course, the websites and companies involved were all on U.S. soil. It's a lot harder to hit pirate websites that are overseas, or in nations that have less strict laws regarding copyright and intellectual property infringement. The Pirate Bay is still fighting litigation in Sweden, and would have been shut down a couple of years ago, were it not for the Pirate Party (Piratpartiet), a newly formed political party that won 7.13% of the vote in Sweden's parliamentary elections. Apparently, this has gummed up the works for Sweden's attempt to go after The Pirate Bay. Who would have guessed that pirates would go political.

Well, that's the latest from the world of piracy. Not as glamorous as stories of Blackbeard, "Calico" Jack Rackham, and "Black" Sam Bellamy, but I guess that's what we get for being born 300 years to late (to misquote Jimmy Buffet's "A Pirate Looks at 40").

Game On!

2010-06-28T15:23:00.002-05:00

After several years of rumor and speculation, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, has begun filming in Hawaii. Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightly are long gone and, to be honest, I won't be missing them at all. Will Turner is now Captain of the Flying Dutchman, and Elizabeth Swann is raising his daughter (see the post credit clip from POTC: At World's End), so I don't see how those characters can return - and since the actors who portray them don't want to come back, they aren't. But Johnny Depp is back, as are several familiar faces from the crew. Rob Marshall is directing, and Jerry Bruckheimer is producing. There's no way of knowing how this is going to turn out, though. In my humble opinion, the first POTC is still the best, and the sequels just got sillier and sillier as time went on. I love a good swordfight as much as the next fencer, but on a water wheel (POTC: Dead Man's Chest)? Really?

I read the book upon which this installment is based, and while it wasn't a awe-inspiring, life changing read, it was enjoyable. It also unexpectedly brought historical pirates such as Blackbeard into the setting, which was a nice twist that other pirate fiction (to my knowledge) had not. So I am looking forward to seeing what POTC does with Tim Power's novel.

Yo, ho! Yo, ho! It's still a pirate's life for me, it seems! : )

Crazy Comments

2010-06-28T09:34:00.002-05:00

I've had to disable my comments section of this blog, unfortunately. It seems that almost all of the comments that are left here are by Asian posters. Not that's a bad thing, of course, but these comments are not really comments at all, just random sayings (I used Babelfish to translate some) that are nonsensical. Tracking back to the posters' blogs revealed blogs that are devoid of posts, links, etc. In other words, they're probably spammers.

So the comments section is on lock down. I'd apologize for it, but since no one was posting comments that make sense anyway, it's no big deal to me. : )

There and Back Again: The Monthly Recap

2010-06-14T09:51:00.007-05:00

I think it's foolish for me to keep making excuses for not posting for a couple of reasons. One is that my work load has tripled over the last few weeks, and given that the only time I post is at work (I need to change that, but so far I haven't), the posting ain't gettin' done. The other reason is that I haven't had much to say. Yes, I have a child on the way (insert dramatic music here), and have made a list of all pirate inspired baby wear that I can find. Yes, I still read and collect pirate inspired stuff, and yes, I still keep up with the so-called pirate situation in Somalia (freebooters! They are freebooters! Just sayin'.). It seems when something blog-able comes up on my radar, by the time I have a moment to write about it, the issue is no longer as relavant or interesting. So I don't.

And my blog has become a place for simply keeping some of my favorite websites bookmarked in one place. And that's just sad.

So, in order to keep things rolling here and not have this blog go the way of so many other blogs that haven't had a post since 2007, Here is a review of what's been going on in the life of a land-locked pirate:

One Ring and I went to Disney World at the end of May for our babymoon (yes, there is such a thing, and I highly recommend it). We stayed in a nautical themed resort on property - the Beach Club Resort, which even has a shipwreck in a pool complex which is complete with a lazy river. Given the heat, One Ring's inability to ride many of the rides in the parks, and our mutual desire to avoid crowds, we spent many an afternoon drifting in the currents.

The shipwreck is actually a large waterslide that starts halway up the main mast, continues down the fallen mast, and ends up in one of the pools that connects to the lazy river.

And here is the lazy river.

Obviously we had a lot of fun. We were able to ride the Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean together (no problems for pregnant women on those rides, thankfully!), so I did get my pirate fix. And I did come very, very close to having a picture taken with Capt. Jack Sparrow. I got up to the line, only to be told that he was taking a break and would be back at 3 that afternoon. Sadly, it was our last day, and we were not able to make it back for the pic. Maybe next time. We were able to get a picture with "Pirate Goofy," and I'll try to remember to post that picture later.

Star Wars Weekend was also going on at Disney World while we were there. Let me tell you, I felt a whole lot less geeky about my obsession when I stood next to a bunch of fans who were foaming at the mouth to get a picture with Anakin Skywalker! And it wasn't even Hayden Christiensen, just some guy who looked like him! The same was true for Mace Window, though that was no surprise; I can't see Samuel Jackson hanging out in the Florida sun all day for fan photos.

Guitar lessons continue to go well. I'm having my guitar instructor build my next guitar, but won't be able to start that project until the fall. The plan is that I'll buy a kit (I'm going with the "RG" model, which is based on the Ibanez line of the same name.) from BYOGuitar.com, then send it over to him for the build, staining (I'm having it done in onyx, to give it a dark, menacing look, in constrast to the warm brown of my Laguna LE300.), and set up. We may have to replace the supplied pickups if they don't sound good, but I've found a brand that has gotten great reviews at a very inexpensive price. I should be able to keep that cost, if necessary, under $100. All told, the entire project should run about $400, which is less than most guitars and far, far less than custom builds.

I'm adding at least one or two more links to the side bar. One is Twisted Kaiju Theater, which is a 10 year running webcomic run by a guy with way too many Godzilla action figures and a quirky sense of humor. Some of it is NSFW, but it has been a great way to improve my mood during my lunch breaks. And since I grew up on Godzilla movies, this site is particularly enjoyable!

The next one is the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, which has made a full length, professional quality, silent film version of The Call of Cthulhu. They're currently working on The Whisperer in Darkness, which should be released soon. It's also the place where I received my honorary doctorate from Arkham University (it's in theoretical realities, in case you're wondering)!

And finally, I'm adding Day of the Woman, a horror blog by (gasp!) a woman about women in horror. Great reviews, commentary, and news about the genre.

Okay, I'm tired of typing. Now it's back to trying to avoid work until my next patient / victim arrives at 1:00.

A Misnomer of Sorts

2010-05-17T10:35:00.009-05:00

As you may or may not know (and may or may not care), I play City of Heroes on a regular basis. It's a great stress reliever, I've found, although occasionally One Ring will shout out, "I'm losing you to the game!" But I enjoy it, as it takes me back to my comic book addiction days. Yep, I admit it, I'm in recovery from comic book geekdom!

So the other day, I'm at my computer, logged in, and flying my newest character around one of the city maps. For some reason, I get up to level 20 or so, then get incredibly bored with the character, delete it, and start all over with another design. One of these days I'll keep one and get it to level 50, but until then, it'll be delete and redo. Anyway, I'm flying over this body of water when my targeting thingy locks in on a monster called "The Kraken." Naturally, I dive bomb in to take a look, expecting to see something along the lines of this:

Instead, I see this sorry excuse for the most feared creature of the deep:

Needless to say, I was not impressed. I don't know the rationale behind calling something that clearly is not a Kraken, the Kraken, but they did it. And what could have been a really awesome fight turned south when the creature vomited on me. Yes, the City of Heroes monster threw up on me. Epic fail, if you ask me!

In other news ...

Vacation starts on Friday! Actually, we leave on Saturday, but the wonderful feeling of freedom will begin at 4 PM CST on Friday. It's the official babymoon, though Tigger, Pooh, and Boo will be there as well. I'm still trying to get my head around the myriad ways that my life will forever change. Seems that whenever I think of having a child, my eyes cross, my head explodes, and the only thought I can muster is, "I'm going to be a what?" But I hear that's natural ... I just can't believe that I have to grow up! An adult? I've spent the last 40 years or so avoiding that at just about all costs! Now I have to man up and get ready to welcome a baby into this often messed up world. Seemed a whole hell of a lot easier when I would sit back and say, "That's so not the way I would handle this situation if I was that kid's dad!" Now I get to be the other guy.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all in with what's coming. It just scares the hell out of me, and the desire to hide under the blankets, read comic books and pretend I'm 12 again is really, really strong some times! Even worse than the fear, though, is my ego getting pissed that life is no longer "all about me." Even though it never was. The idea that I can't be selfish and spend my disposable income on my kind of stuff really sticks me in a way that has caused my cravings to almost run out of control.

I mentioned that on the day of the Nashville flood, One Ring and I went to Guitar Center to pick up a new amp. Well, since then I've been investigating having my guitar instructor build me a new axe by modifying a kit from BYOGuitar. The plan was to order the kit for approximately $200 (I want the RG one), and then have him build it, stain id see-through black (I'm going for the evil / goth look) and do whatever upgrades are deemed necessary. I joked with a friend that I was trying to buy as much stuff on my "want list" as possible, since once the baby is born, I'll never be able to buy anything ever again!

Yeah, immature of me. And seriously NOT on the spiritual path I desire to walk. Sigh.

Looks like no matter how far I come, there's always so much further to go.

I'll write more on this topic later today. Right now the doctor is having a patient for lunch (he was not following directions, and in this clinic you MUST follow directions!), and I need to make sure nothing goes sideways.

It's Friday, Beee-yotches!

2010-05-14T15:22:00.001-05:00

It's been a hellish week, and this is pretty much how I'm looking at ending it. Have a great weekend, everyone!

Big Time Drama Days

2010-05-10T10:04:00.009-05:00

Well, there's a few things you have to know about the last week to ten days here. The first is that Nashville was struck by a 500-year flood that ground the city and surrounding counties to a stand still. The main highway close to where One Ring and I live looked like this:

Needless to say, things have been a tad chaotic ... not to mention frightening.

So during the great flood of 2010, as it is now known, One Ring, her brother, and I had to try and get down to Mobile, AL for her Grandmother's funeral. We originally were supposed to leave on Saturday, but that was the day all hell broke loose. We finally caught a break in the weather Sunday before dawn, and were able to get on the road. Of course, luck would not hold for us, for right before we made the trip, Kona - our Corgi / Beagle mix - took ill, and we couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. A trip to the ER Vet and then to our Vet a couple days later finally provided an answer to the mystery. She had swallowed a chunk of rubber from one of her toys and had her small intestine completely obstructed. Needless to say, we were worried, especially when the vet called and said he was rushing her into surgery. Kona needed to have part of her colon resectioned, and then had to spend the weekend back at the Vet hospital. We finally got her home yesterday, where she'll spend the next week or so wearing the "cone of shame" (go see "Up" if you don't get the reference).

We told her that she passed our Dachshund Peanut as "The Most Expensive Free Dog" we've ever owned. She didn't seem amused.

Sometimes You Sail Close to the Edge O' The Map

2010-04-26T08:56:00.005-05:00

... and sometimes you bloody well go right off! So much has happened over the last couple of weeks that I don't even know where to begin. Work load has tripled, and my nemesis, who was supposed to be helping take the load off, was transferred by management to another - solo - project, so he wouldn't cause more damage in the department. I guess I wasn't the only one he was driving crazy! Add to that extracurricular activities (guitar lessons and thet like), a sick dog, and plans to go to Disney World in May, and you have one stressed pirate!

But there is one additional bit of news that is occupying 99.9% of my attention these days ...

There's a pirate-in-training on the way!

We found out about a week and a half ago that One Ring is pregnant, and after a trip to the doctor's last Thursday for ultrasounds and other tests, the due date was figured out. The li'l swab is due on December 16!

Needless to say, we're both ecstatic and freaking out at the same time. This will likely be our only child (unless One Ring decides otherwise - she is the "One Ring to Rule Them All" after all!), so we want everything to go as smoothly as possible. Which essentially involves me panicking about every little thing and One Ring studying everything she can get her hands on.

So there you go. That's why we haven't had reports of the Somali pirates who were taken to Norfolk, VA (my old stomping grounds!) for trial, and other bits of interest. I hope to post more, but time will only tell. In the meantime, please send thoughts, prayers, and superstitious pirate rituals our way, as the world needs more swashbuckling babies! : )

More Distractions

2010-04-13T09:26:00.003-05:00

I'm still alive! For the three of you out there who follow this blog, you've obviously noticed that I have not published anything even remotely meaningful since the beginning of the month. And for that I say Mea Culpa. My work life has been turned upside down of late, and it looks like I'm going to be, and in some ways already am, doing the jobs of three people. This, naturally, has me going slightly mad. Thus the lack of posts. But that doesn't mean that life has paused.

The big news of the moment is that my nemesis will be slapped around by administration at some point today. He took last week off, which made my life infinitely more enjoyable, as he wasn't around to attempt to micromanage the work I do. And no, he's not my supervisor. I just spoke with my boss, and she said that while she hasn't called him on the carpet yet, I should plan on doing everything he was going to do in my department. Which piles more work on me, but also lowers my stress level. As is usual in life, it's a mixed bag.

All of this reminds me of an old Chinese story about a elderly man who owned a horse. One day the horse jumped the fence and ran off into the wilderness. All of his neighbors said, "Oh, that's terrible." to which he answered, "If you say so."

Then one day his horse returned with another horse that it had met on its journey to parts unknown. The neighbors said, "You're so lucky!" The man answered, "If you say so."

So the man's son tried to break in the new horse - which was a wild filly - and was thrown. The son broke his leg and became permanently crippled. The neighbors said, "What bad luck!" The man answered, "If you say so."

Then the Emperor's soldiers came through, conscripting all the able-bodied men to serve in an upcoming war. Being disabled from his accident, the son was left at home and did not have to risk his life in the conflict. The neighbor's said, "How fortunate you are!" To which the man said, as always, "If you say so."

I've heard this story told many times, the most recent in a Zen dharma talk that I downloaded to my MP3 player and listened to on the way to work the other day. The lesson was essentially about how we should strive to see things as they are, without being swayed by our emotions or personal attachment to the situation. No situation is all good or all bad. The situation just is. Similarly, people aren't all good or all evil. People just are. We can find the poositive in anything, just as we can find the negative in everything. If we look for either, depending on our emotional state or personal tendencies, we are bound to find it.

I am trying to put this to use today, as both my workload and stress levels have increased with the current conflict brewing at the other end of the hall. Yes, it's good that my nemesis is going to be kept out of my hair. But it's also bad that I am going to be doing his work and the doctor I work with is giving me additional duties that I do not have time to do (and, just to be clear, I have a patient coming in 10 minutes, so I don't have time to bury myself in data entry or other chart work.). A patient of mine with whom I've been working is crashing and burning in his issues and personal demons. He's being moved, by his own actions, to a place where I can no longer work with him. He's taken up a lot of man hours as I've been working both with him and his family. So times going to be freed up by this turn of events. That's good. The bad is that he's affliction is probably going to take him to an early grave. And that is horrific.

So as I meditate during my lunch break (if I get one), I'm going to try and focus on avoiding the tendency to label people and events. They just are. It's how I respond - which is different from reacting, but that's a subject for another time - that is the key.

And with that, it's back to the grind. Peace.

Somali Pirate Update

2010-04-01T09:44:00.006-05:00

Coffee break is almost over, but I figured I'd send a quick news tidbit out into the ether. Looks like the Somali pirate brigade has taken another hit. Of course, this is a small victory on the part of the multi-national force, as the independent - or loosely organized - pirate forces continue to harrass, hijack, and hold ships for ransom. But I do hope that this action on the part of the US Navy is a sign of things to come.

U.S. Navy Captures 5 Pirates Near Seychelles

And, just in case you're interested, here's a picture of the victorious ship and some related information.

USS. Nicholas

The Geek in Me Is Jumping for Joy!

2010-03-31T12:34:00.004-05:00

Godzilla is coming back!!

While the word has always been that the 2004 Godzilla flick - Godzilla: Final Wars - would be the last for some time, the latest report is that Legendary Films will be behind the next one. And it will not, repeat, WILL NOT, be related in any way to the 1998 disaster that was the American version of Godzilla starring Matthew Broderick. Apparently Legendary is going back to basics and looking at the originial 1954 film - the one that had Raymond Burr in the American release. Right now they're saying that the yet to be named film will be released in 2012.

So those Mayans better be wrong!

Please excuse me while I do the geek happy dance.

Afternoon Laugh

2010-03-29T13:05:00.003-05:00

... because I need it.

There Need to be Limitations ...

2010-03-25T11:36:00.003-05:00

... on the word "pirate." Bilge Munkey posted a link to this event on his page:

Police Nab 2 So-Called 'Grease Pirates'

Grease pirates? Really? I mean come on. A couple of posts ago I was lamenting that there were only two types of pirates left in the world - Somalian thugs and Internet pirates who steal music and movies. But what I was suggesting was that we needed more nouns followed by the word 'pirate.' If I steal somebody's dog am I a "puppy pirate?" If I'm a car thief does that make me an "Auto Buccaneer?" Of course not. So let's get the word out that there are pirates and then there are thieves, plain and simple. Pirates are historical figures who are no more. All that exist today are thieves and terrorists. And that's all there is to it.

But while we're on the topic of wanna-be pirates:

Armed contractors shoot dead Somali pirate on UAE ship

Of course, this increases the stress level of governments who have naval forces in the area. They want to keep private forces from escalating violence and giving the Somalis reason to start killing their victims, rather than holding them for ransom. However, it's not surprising that shipping companies have resorted to this strategy. In a way, it is reminiscent of events that occurred toward the end of the Golden Age of Piracy (1650 - 1725). Angered by the escalation of piracy, the European navies began escorting merchant ships and actively hunting pirates through a variety of means. In addition, sailors who manned sailing ships were offered pardons and recruited into the very navies who were hunting them! With the possibility of forgiveness and diminishing returns from a life under the black flag, the era came to an end.

Perhaps this incident is the beginning of a repeat of these historical events.

That Being Said ...

2010-03-23T14:00:00.002-05:00

It does appear that the oceanic beasties are getting closer to me!

Two Sharks found in Tennessee River

Too bad they were found dead, which probably means that they were dumped there by morons who either can tell, or don't care about, the difference between salt water and fresh.

I Was Hoping to Publish This Earlier

2010-03-22T14:49:00.007-05:00

But, alas, work is work, and blogging is blogging, and the two just don't mix well these days. So here it is, one hour before quitting time, and I'm just now getting through with my paperwork and writing something. Of course now my brain is fried and all the clever things I had to say have died on the vine. Oh, well. At least I have the capability to blog while at work!

I was playing "A Pirate Looks at 40" the other night - and yes, I'm pretty much finished learning how to play it! Now if I could only learn how to sing and play at the same time! - and thinking about getting older and how I need to put more effort into figuring out the meaning of it all. I'm not talking about figuring out the meaning of life - I don't believe that there is just ONE meaning. I mean trying to figure out my place in this whole drama and how I can improve myself and the space around me.

Trouble is, the results of this thought exercise seems to totally depend on the status of my mood at the time I consider the issue. If I'm tired and depressed, my outlook is naturally bleak, and I follow the path that tells me that there is nothing I can do to improve anything. Sort of a almost nihilistic point of view. And, of course, if I'm in a good mood - low work stress, sunny day, etc. - then I feel more balanced and in touch with that which is greater than myself.

Okay, all of that was written yesterday (3/22/10 for those of you playing at home). Today is an entirely different kind of chaos. Three patients going through detox, two more getting called on the carpet for not following directions, then a good dozen coming in for med checks, groups, and other issues. Plus there seems to be a full moon in terms of the phone calls I'm getting. Very weird stuff. I am not superstitious in the least - as I've said before, I don't believe in anything that so much as hints at the supernatural - but some days the level of insanity around here makes me wonder. Sadly, my personal suggestion that we put a pharmaceutical cocktail consisting of anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, and anti-anxiety meds in the water here seems to have fallen on deaf ears. Oh, well.

So I'm taking a moment to finish this before throwing myself back into the fray. Fun fun fun.

Anyway, I think my point above is made. Depending on my mood, my life seems to either be chaos or grounded and interconnected (in a healthy way) with others. Others may disagree, but I've always felt that developing ones spirituality is simple when life is going well and all is calm. It's when moods are a swingin' and mayhem is a goin' on that grounding oneself takes a huge amount of inner strength and, dare I say, faith.

I started this blog when I felt upbeat. Silly, even. My interest in the Golden Age of Piracy had spread not only into books and museum exhibits, but into movies, and games (I miss you, Pirates CCG!). My experience as a fencer played well into it, as did my love of the sea and trips to the Caribbean. I have wooden ships and ships in bottles on my bookshelf here, and occasionally crank up a couple of CDs that I own of nautical tunes. Of course, living in Tennessee means that there are few people who can relate to this! : )

Now, three years (and then some) after moving to this area, I no longer fence - there's a distinct lack of buckled swashes here! - and the only piracy to be found is either online (which is distinctly different and world's apart from storming the decks of a merchant vessel, cutlass in hand!) or waving an AK-47 around like an idiot off the coast of Somalia. As the song says, "The cannons don't thunder, there's nothing to plunder. I'm an over 40 victim of fate, arriving too late."

A silly thing to feel, I know. But sometimes I wonder if my interest in the topic is silly as well. I'll have to ponder and wonder.

Well, I hear more patients gathering in the hall. Guess I have to open my door and tend to the hordes.

Non-Piratical Days

2010-03-15T12:54:00.003-05:00

For the last three weeks or so, I have struggled with two colds, a depression well out of proportion for all possible external causes (job stress, lack of sleep, etc.), and a preaching engagement at the church where One Ring and I attend. Also, work has - for reasons that remain unknown to me - allowed Facebook access from our PCs. That more than anything is probably the reason for my lack of posts. But the others are pretty good reasons, too!

So these last few days have been filled with damage control. But they have not been without some interesting events.

The oddest thing that's happened over the past week is that two friends have asked me for information and resources regarding religions. One asked for Christianity, and the other requested Buddhism. This happened almost simultaneously, so I would have nightly email and Facebook conversations regarding their spiritual journies and interests, sometimes switching from one to the other and back again in minutes. I hope that I helped them both, and it helped me to think about and appreciate the journey I've made. Even the rough parts, those times when I didn't know what I believed and was angry at every religious teacher and leader I ever met (okay, I'm still angry with a few, but that's beside the point!) I can see now that they were important, and have led me to the place I am today. Of course, that place is a strange one. As one of my former chaplain colleagues once said, "They don't even have a name for what you are!" And despite the multiple meanings that phrase could hold, she WAS referring to my beliefs and disbeliefs and not some other aspect of my personhood!

As I mentioned above, I also gave the sermon / conducted worship at my church. Despite my predictions of the end of all creation, Hell freezing over, and the Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse showing up (Parking spaces were reserved for them), nothing of the sort happened. In fact, it was moderately enjoyable. Do I wish to get back into that racket? Oh, hell no! I still question the usefulness of the church - much to One Ring's disagreement - and wonder if a new model of religious gathering is needed that is far more productive in creating positive change in the world. Then again, I'm a cynic, and tend to believe that the destruction of many systems and structures in society are imminent! Oh, well.

In other news, One Ring and I went to see Avatar and Alice in Wonderland recently. Really got into the first one, and thought the other was enjoyable but certainly not life changing in any way. Both have interesting ways of looking at our existance and our relationship with the world around us, which I may or may not get into later, mood and time permitting.

Okay, about 20 minutes left in the day, and I can feel my eyelids drooping. The doctor isn't working tomorrow (Huzzah!), so life should be easier around here. Here's to hoping that I can write something far more interesting!

Ex-girlfriend / Pirate Update

2010-02-27T11:14:00.002-06:00

I was just notified via email that my ex and her mother (who are on a cruise ship travelling from South Africa to India) are making a wide curve around Somalia and its surrounding waters in order to avoid the freebooters and wanna-be pirates infesting the area. Despite my comments in my last post that I was "strangely conflicted about this," I have to say that I did not at any time want harm to fall to her or anyone else travelling in or around those waters. Like most people in the world, I hope that one day Somalia will be able to fashion a government (they haven't had one in about 10 years), and make their coastline safe for all.

So there. I hope that avoids any misinterpretations of my words from my previous posts.

I also hope that my ex will also be inspired by these words (and my wonderful personality and charm!) to bring me several bottles of South African wine and other goodies! : )

My Latin is Lousy

2010-02-24T13:03:00.004-06:00

Like most people I have heard the phrase, "Illegitimi non carborundum est." Usually the associated translation is, "Don't let the bastards grind you down!" At different points in my life, I've pasted that slogan on my desk, keyboard, inside of my eyelids (mentally, of course, I can't imagine how to do it physically!), and just about everywhere else I've thought it needed. Problem is, I was wrong. It's not even a Latin phrase!

Even though it's used all over the place, since WWII and in the Barry Goldwater campaign to the nickname of the Harvard University Marching Band, it's not correct in its meaning, translation, or anything else. It's a nonsensical phrase.

The actual Latin translation, that I've just found on Wikipedia, is Noli nothi permittere te terere.

Looking at that, though, I can see why people stuck with the fake Latin!

Win. Not Epic, But Still a Win

2010-02-24T12:00:00.005-06:00

Sharkbait had a contest on Facebook to see who could come up with the best name for five of his pictures. His company is Blue Seas Photography, in case your just joining in and missed previous references. Anyway, I won with the best name for the picture below. My entry, "Marooned," won. He's sending me a framed 8x10 print.

And just in case anyone out there is thinking that it's nepotism that enabled the win, the contest was judged by an independent critic! So there!

Seen at Work

2010-02-23T13:44:00.005-06:00

Part of my job involves running across the parking lot and delivering samples to the lab (don't ask - apparently it's what having a Master's degree gets you around here!). I see a lot of stickers, body kits, and other stupid stuff. Some I've posted before. Here are two more, one funny and another, well, more of a WTF???

First, the bad one:

I'm not sure what this guy's getting at, but I think we can all agree that it's a pretty odd thing to plaster on your window!

And here's the one I'm fond of:

One Degree of Separation

2010-02-22T08:53:00.003-06:00

An ex-girlfriend of mine is sailing from Cape Town, South Africa to India. Depending on the cruise ship's course, she may pass right by Somalia, home to the sad excuse for pirates ...

I confess I have mixed feelings about this. : )

Not Much Time ...

2010-02-19T15:42:00.005-06:00

... before I go, and not a lot worth talking about. Lots of work chaos, hanging out on Facebook - which is, for some reason, now accessible from work - and watching the Olympics have taken up a lot of time usually devoted to blogging. There's also my addiction to City of Heroes (which has a new upgrade coming out soon!), but the less said about that, the better!

But before I run out the door screaming, "You can take my sanity, but you cannot take MAH FREEDOM!" (don't forget to roll the r there, it sounds way more faux Scottish!) I want to point out a couple of changes to this here blog.

First off, "Lovecraft is Missing" is getting kicked off the link page. No posts in two months = no link love, so over the side it goes (no one walks the plank on real pirate ships; it's far easier to put a musket round in them and feed them to the sharks!).

The second change is that I'm linking to an awesome web comic (now available in print!) called Mystic Revolution. It's about an online fantasy role playing game that occurs the way - IMHO - one should be run. Of course, it's set in the near future where the game is total immersion, so the line between character and player is somewhat blurred, but there are more than enough events in there to keep the reader hooked. As an added bonus, the writer / illustrator, Jennifer Brazas, includes hastily drawn comics depicting her adventures at various comic conventions around the country. It's been a fun time occupier during my lunches at work. So here's the link, and it will be a proud addition to the list on the right.

Cry, "Havoc!"

2010-02-09T11:55:00.006-06:00

But there are no dogs of war. Not even a puppy of war. Just havoc. Lots of it. Work has been completely insane, and I'm wondering if the winter storms have driven people around the bend. It seems like no matter how long the day seems to be in terms of drudgery, I keep getting busier and busier. I have patients misbehaving (nothing new here, but the numbers seem to be rising), conflicts with my nemesis seem to be escalating again, and frustrations outside of work seem to be mounting. Nothing major there, but I've been trying to burn DVDs of July's trip to Disney World with my niece and nephew (friendly bit of advice: whatever you do, DO NOT buy a copy of 123 Copy DVD. Not only does it not work as advertised, I'll be a lubber's monkey* if I can find their return policy. And they claim 100% satisfaction or your money back!). It hasn't been going well. As of last night, I finished two of the three DVDs - yes, we took A LOT of footage! - but it's taken far longer than it should have.

And oh, yeah. I got into a fight with a church.

Yes, you heard me right. I got into a fight with a church. Again. You'd think I'd learn to stay away from places where conflict erupts, but no. And this time I didn't even go inside. In fact, I didn't even pull into their parking lot!

See, there's this independent Christian church that I pass every day on the way to work. It's nothing spectacular to look at, just a prefab metal building like the ones that you see advertised on TV. Well, around the time of the State of the Union Address, I drove past and noticed that the flag was flying at half mast ... and upside down.

Now, for those of you not familiar with flag etiquette, or figure that the Jolly Roger is the only flag worth flying, an inverted United States flag is a symbol for extreme distress involving massive loss of life or national crisis (think Hurricane Katrina survivors crying for help, or Blackbeard's blockade of Charleston, SC). There are no other reasons to fly it inverted, unless you are trying to exercise your right to free speach and cause vast amounts of confusion and alarm - potentially harmful alarm at that - at the same time.

So, I went to the website of aforementioned house of worship, and found that it has a particularly odd theology. I won't post the site here, but suffice to say that it wants people to know the potential wrath of God, while at the same time is a warm and friendly place "where everyone will feel welcomed." Hmmm. I figured that there was something amiss with the flag, so I fired off an email requesting (firmly, mind you, with gun ports open and cannons aimed, but still requesting) that they re-examine their flag policies. For good measure, despite my misgivings about rules and regulations, I included sections of the United States Flag Code. And yes, in our country, there is a code for absolutely everything.

This touched off several rounds of claims and counter-claims, broadsides and sniping. First there was silence on the part of the church, then a counter attack which wanted to know how I dared suggest that a Christian church would EVER do something like that. Even to suggest such a thing, would be at the least unpatriotic. Apparently they don't move in the same social circles as I do. They also blamed the incident on a broken clasp on the flagpole, which caused the flag to flop upside down. Why they let it flow like that for over a week is beyond me, but after my email, it came down.

A few days later, a church member called me (I forgot to leave my signature file off my email. Note to self: never let that happen again!) at work to explain again the situation. He also seemed unconvinced that I am still a member of the clergy - despite my misgivings about being included in that lot - and again wanted me to know that they were not, "that kind of church." He also wanted me to know that I was more than welcome to attend this Saturday's Men's Prayer Breakfast. I almost told him that I would sooner hang myself from the yardarm, but somehow bit my tongue (it still hurts!).

When I told One Ring about the conversation, she burst out laughing. I guess she imagined me entering their church and bursting into flames. It's been known to happen, from time to time.

Oh, well. Hopefully, I won't be hearing from them again. But that's how my week's gone.

*And yes, I do know that lubbers don't have monkeys. In fact, I'm not even sure what that phrase means!

Somali Pirate News Update

2010-02-02T11:53:00.003-06:00

... although I use the word "pirate" with great reluctance. As I and others who have a fondness for the Golden Age of Piracy (1690 - c.1730) have said again and again, the Somali oceanic hijackers and kidnappers have little or nothing in common with Calico Jack Rackman, Black Sam Bellamy, and Blackbeard. True, there were pirates - many of them, in fact - who exhibited cruelty towards their victims and sometimes their own as they raided the Caribbean and other waters. But there are enough differences to show beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Somali bunch are not pirates at all, but rather a whole new breed of terrorist.

Which brings us to today's update on what's been going on off the coast of Somalia, a nation that hasn't had a working government since the early 1990s and is pretty much an anarchic state ruled by a host of warlords. You may recall that the United States tried to establish order there before, but following the horrible "Black Hawk Down" incident, left Somalia to collapse on its own. And now we can see the result of that collapse.

The Daily Mail newspaper (in the UK) reported yesterday that Paul and Rachel Chandler are in horrible condition - Rachel especially - as they go into their fourth month of captivity. They are currently being held for ransom after they were seized from their yacht by the Somalis as they were attempting an around the world trip. You can find the article here.

The Somalis want something like 1.9 million pounds, and the British government says that they don't pay ransoms for anyone, anytime, anywhere. There is no word - at least anywhere I've seen - of a rescue mission, despite the pleas from the family and friends of the Chandlers and cries of outrage from others inside and outside the UK.

Meanwhile, a Greek ship and her crew were freed yesterday by a Somali gang after the shipping company paid an undisclosed sum. They, too, have been hostages since November. They are currently heading to Mombasa, in Kenya. Here's the article about that incident.

All in all, 47 ships were taken last year, and the gangs still have 200 crew members as hostages. Of course, these gangs are not a unified force, and have been known to fight between themselves over the ransom monies.

For the Pirate in Your Life

2010-02-02T09:46:00.002-06:00

Bilge Munkey found this sort of thing on Zazzle, and that got me brain working. What should someone get the pirate who's stolen her (or his) heart? First off, let's start with the card ...

Then you could add some candy ...

Of course, tattoos are very romantic for both land lubbers and sea rovers alike ...

And we can't be forgetten the sparklies!

That's all for now. If you should find any other booty worth listing (and keep yer mind out of th' bilge!), send a flag up, and I'll post it here.

I Was Going to Post Today

2010-01-27T09:28:00.003-06:00

... but I have just been informed that the inspectors have arrived on the hospital campus and are wandering about sowing chaos. Hopefully they will leave my office alone, but anything could happen. So until they leave ... pray for me!!!

Searching for The Kraken

2010-01-22T09:38:00.004-06:00

A while back I mentioned that there's this new brand of rum out called "The Kraken." Well, after reading BilgeMunkey's review (yes, he finally did get a delivery), I figured that this was well worth trying out for myself. And so began the quest to find the mighty Kraken.

First stop, since I was at work, was the website. After punching in my age, and assuring the beastie that I was (way beyond) 21, I looked for distributers and sales locations in TN (which is definitely not a hotbed of piracy and rum consumption, sadly!). I was frustrated to see that part of the website was down. That left only one option: to sail around until the Kraken was sighted.

One Ring accompanied me on the first stop, a recently remodeled liquor store about a mile from our house. She needed a bottle of wine for some friends, and while she was looking amongst the more socially respectable shelves, I went deep into the depths of the store to find the rum. Alas, my search came up empty. Queries to the owner resulted in a raised eyebrow and a quizzical look, but he did check the website and found that I was not completely mad. He said that he may see it soon, but unless the shipping reps mentioned it, he probably wouldn't end up stocking it.

Yesterday, after a long and frustrating day, I called One Ring and told her that I was making a second journey. She gave her blessing and wished me luck, only requesting that I be careful on the voyage home and not wreck upon the rocks - I believe she used the phrase, "Don't get yerself splatted!"

I hit the store with all the rage of a buccaneer in search of plunder (yes, it was that kind of day). Again, my search was in vain. No sign of the Kraken, and no reports of its whereabouts. So I settled on a nice bottle of Kilo Kai, a rum imported from Curacao. It's a fine dark spiced rum with hints of vanilla and caramel. Whereas many rum brands simply paste a picture of a pirate on the bottle and expect lubbers to flock to the liquor stores and bars to load up on it (I'm talking to you, Captain Morgan!), this rum actually has the flavor to match. The stylized skull and crossbones is a nice touch, though. I mixed it with a coke last night, and found that the combination was just this side of a nice island beach in the Caribbean. BilgeMunky's review was equally favorable towards this brand.

I'm still searching for the Kraken, but I think I've found a nice substitute until the beast is found. Wish me luck!

So Much to Say

2010-01-21T10:47:00.004-06:00

...but I'm really not sure where to begin.

Like many - if not all - of you, I've been in shock over the last week or so. The earthquake in Haiti has dominated the news, and the reports and images of massive amounts of suffering are numbing. I saw estimates on CNN this morning that have 75,000 dead and over a million homeless. Take into account the wounded, and those who will soon be affected by disease, dehydration, and starvation, and the result is staggering.

And that makes Pat Robertson's comments and Rush Limbaugh's rant even more evil, in my opinion. At a time when we need compassion and a massive outpouring of relief aid and financial support so Haiti may rebuild, we have pundits - certifiable ones at that - trying to grab the limelight with outrageous and uninformed statements. There is simply no excuse, either religious or secular, that can justify such behavior.

Granted, condemnation has come from every corner of the globe - at least the corners unfortunate enough to pick up Robertson and Limbaugh on their TVs or radios. But I feel I must add my voice to the outcry and a prayer that these two, and people like them, can rub two brain cells together and have a rational thought before they open their mouths.

I may post more today - hopefully a more enjoyable and light hearted post - but for the moment work is calling.

Bring Me The Horizon!

2010-01-08T14:03:00.003-06:00

Lke everyone else in the U.S., we're caught in that arctic air mass that's bringing the possibility of snow to Orlando and ice to everywhere else in the country. Currently it's snowing, as it did yesterday, but there's no accumulation. Of course, it's also cold as all get out, with temperatures in the single digits, once you factor in wind chill. The drive here was oh, so amusing, as I had to spend longer looking out for ice patches when on the secondary roads, and avoiding the fools who thought that it was still summer and drove like they were trying out for NASCAR. Also fun was the heat in my car, which, due to the extremes in temperatures, was a tad slower to respond to my needs than in other days this winter. This graph clearly shows this fact:

So I was kinda grumpy when I arrived at work. Sleepy, too. One Ring and I stayed up late to watch the Crimson Tide win over the University of Texas. No, I didn't go to Alabama for college, but both of One Ring's parents did, so I am pretty much a fan by default. It doesn't help that Vanderbilt, where I got my masters degree, is also in the SEC, and is embarrassed on a yearly basis by the performance of its football team. So rooting for Alabama is a chance for me to cheer for a team that actually wins games.

But now with college bowl season over, that's one less thing that's nice about the winter time. Indeed, we are now in the doldrums of the season, and my body is feeling the change. I want to curl up under tons of blankets and not move for hours on end. Either that of travel / move somewhere warm. And that means going to the Caribbean, because that's the last place in the Northern Hemisphere that's still warm!

So I did the usual seek and find on the internet - jobs, houses, boats, possible competitive gangs of pirates, etc. And, as expected, no one is hiring. Let's face it, the Caribbean may be my dream home, but in terms of employment opportunities, there's not much there. Not only that, but it sadly appears that I'm roughly 300 years too late. Alas.

I've also burned up all of my vacation time during our trip to Virginia, so it looks like I'm staying put for a while. Still, though, one can dream of sunshine, clear blue waters, and freedom from work!

I Want Some of This Here Rum!

2010-01-04T13:48:00.003-06:00

I'm freezing my tail off at work - apparently someone higher up on the chain of command feels that cold workers work harder. And with the cold comes thoughts of the Carribean, a place I haven't been in far too long. I even tried to find a cruise that would get me away from here, but alas, there's not enough funds to get us on the way.

So the next step was to look at pirate sites to see what's going on with my favorite subject. And over at Bilgemunky.com, I found this:

Kraken Rum!

I have no idea what the stuff tastes like - it could be bilge water for all I know - but I'm tempted to pick up a bottle just for the marketing alone. Check out their website, and you'll see what I mean. Bilgemunky himself hasn't even tried it yet, but check out the package they sent him in order to get his review:

Like I said, brilliant marketing! Maybe some day this blog will be famous enough to rate this kind of service!

And Life Returns to Normal ...

2010-01-04T13:05:00.006-06:00

... whatever that is.

I'm finally back at work - which is why I'm blogging instead of doing what I'm supposed to be doing - and can finally put behind me the chaos that is the holiday season. And while chaos is better than a day at work - where I have more than enough chaos - it is nice to be able to get back into a routine.

But enough small talk. I have a review of a pirate exhibit par excellence!

A couple of days after Christmas, One Ring and I went to Nauticus, the otherwise unmentionable nautical museum in Norfolk, Virginia. However, the exhibit they brought in - the National Geographic sponsored showing of artifacts from the wreck of the pirate ship Whydah - was absolutely phenomenal.

Without going into too much detail about the story of the Whydah itself (there are two links to the right of this page that send you straight to the exhibit, and this one is about the recovery process), I can say that this exhibit was the most detailed of any I have ever seen. It opened with a short film that tells the tale of Sam Bellamy and his untimely death within 500 feet of the coast of Cape Cod. The screen then lifted up revealing the ship's bell, engraved with the name "Whydah," which was all the proof needed to show that this was the first (and thus far only) pirate shipwreck ever discovered.

Although the wreck is spread out over four miles of sea floor, a multitude of artifacts have been discovered. Everything from weapons - cannons, pistols, and sword hilts - to medical supplies. And let me tell you, the sight of those large metal syringes, with needles that looked more like harpoon tips than anything else, made me very queasy! There was even a large chest filled with silver coins. Much to my surprise, having grown up with movies showing pirate treasure being mostly perfectly minted gold coins, these were roughly cut and stamped pieces. Apparently keeping them round like the coins we have today was not so much an issue.

And since the Whydah was first a slave ship, before Bellamy and company took it as a prize, there was an astonishing amount of detail given to the slave trade - how it worked, how slave ships operated, even the shackles used to keep the slaves from jumping overboard and committing suicide (the local religious beliefs held that if one died near ones homeland, that person would be reincarnated as a member of the same tribe). It was very sobering, and actually made Bellamy seem like a hero to have at least taken the Whydah out of the business. In the final part of the exhibit, we read that one of Bellamy's crew, John Julian, who was half Mosquito Indian, was actually sold into slavery. He was hanged in 1733 after an escape attempt in which he killed a bounty hunter who attempted to capture him.

If you get a chance, check out the exhibit. The tour dates are on the website. It's worth every penny.

Pirate Bliss!

2009-12-16T11:07:00.002-06:00

I was informed recently that the nautical museum Nauticus in Norfolk, Virginia is having a pirate exhibit while One Ring and I will be in Virginia Beach for the Christmas holiday. As I was doing the happy dance (a sight not to be missed), further research revealed that the traveling exhibit is of the Whydah - the same exhibit that I've been trying to see for quite some time. Why the Whydah (sorry, couldn't resist)? Well, for one, it is the only pirate shipwreck every recovered. She went down off the coast of Cape Cod, Massachusetts in 1717. And since I was born in Massachusetts, I feel somewhat close to this particular ship and her captain, Sam Bellamy. His story is quite unique among the Brethren of the Coast - he fell in love with an upper class woman, and, unable to prove his "worth" to her family via wealth, took up piracy until he could raise the money. Once he had the sum needed, he quit the trade (very un-piratical) and tried to get back to Cape Cod. Unfortunately, his ship was caught in a storm - possibly a hurricane - and sank with all hands. So, in a way, it's a Romeo and Juliet kind of story.

Well, I need to get back to work. I just figured I'd post a quick note detailing one of the reasons why I'm looking forward to my vacation!

It Arrived!

2009-12-03T09:35:00.003-06:00

My early Christmas present came in yesterday, and it is beautiful! It's a Laguna LE300, and despite the lousy strings that came from the factory, it has an awesome sound. I spent the evening playing with the pickup settings (it has a 5-way switch), and continuing to work on my assignment from my lessons. I forgot to see if it could fit in my Epiphone case, though, so transporting it to lessons or to get the strings replaced may be a problem. I'll have to work on that tonight.

In other news, friends of ours had twins last night! It's a wonderful (obviously) event for them, made bittersweet only by the fact that this comes a little more than a year after they lost a baby girl at birth. But even with this in the back of our minds, we're all celebrating. One Ring and I will be heading over to the hospital to see the proud parents and meet the boys.

Well, group went off without a hitch today, and a minor crisis was avoided with another patient. This afternoon might get a little busy, but, for the most part, it will just be paperwork and cleaning the desk for an inspection that's supposed to take place tomorrow. The doctor comes back on Monday, so I'll have to write a memo to bring her up to speed on the chaos that's gone on while she's been in India and Los Angeles.

Okay, time to check on some other issues and get to work.

Mu

2009-12-01T11:39:00.003-06:00

I was reading Zen Guitar by Philip Toshio Sudo last night. While it seems like there's a "Zen and the art of ..." book for everything under the sun (Although Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance actually IS about Zen and not fixing your cycle), most really don't seem to grasp - in my humble opinion - either Zen or the topic the writer is trying to link to Zen. Zen Guitar, though, is the real deal.

The piece that I read last night dealt with the whole concept of "Mu," which literally translated means, "No" or "nothing." However, that is only part of the meaning of the word.

Mu occurs several times in Zen koans, which are proverbs or stories which on the surface seem nonsensical but are actually keys to understanding concepts. The most famous, perhaps, is "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" Anyway, there's another famous one, and that's where Mu comes in.

In ancient China, this monk walks up to his Zen master and asks, "Does a dog have Buddha nature?" In other words, is a dog capable of enlightenment? When I worked in the church, I was asked by one of my youth, "Does my dog have a soul?" While not exactly the same thing (and it would take far too long to explain the difference!), it's a good enough analogy for now.

So the monk asks his question, expecting a "yes or no" type of answer, because that's what everyone expects for a question like that. Either a dog has it, or the dog doesn't. No middle ground.

But the Zen master just says, "Mu." Now if mu meant no, the dog didn't have Buddha nature, that would be the end of it. But that's not what Mu in this context means. Here it means something akin to "no meaning." Or, in a quote I pulled from Wikipedia, "Your question cannot be answered because it depends on incorrect assumptions."

The goal of a koan is to open a door to the pathway of Zen. In this case it's to destroy the typical human habit of either / or thinking. Again, either the dog has it, or not. Either this is important, or it isn't. Either I'm working, or I'm not. But what Mu sets up is a way of thinking that removes either / or thinking. The dog has it and the dog doesn't, and it doesn't really matter either way. I'm working and at the same time writing this (There have been several pauses as I've written this to address various crises). Either / or thinking requires there to be absolutes - independent agents at work in the situation. Zen thought states that there is no such thing. "Dog" is an artificial construct; a name for a being that we gave it to distinguish it from other furry animals (of course, "furry" and "animals" are constructs as well, but bear with me!). "Buddha-nature" is also an artificial distinction between states of being. If one considers that nothing is independent of anything else, and everything came from something or a combination of things, which themselves have their origin in other things, then eventually one can go far enough back to see that "everything" just "is" and is connected to "everything else."

Take the guitar that I just purchased, which should arrive on my doorstep tomorrow (Joy!). When does a guitar stop being a guitar? When does a combination of wood, lacquer, wire strings, circuits and pickups, tuners and tremolo bridge, become a guitar? When assembled? When disassembled? Is there a difference? And more importantly, does it even matter? Follow the guitar through its coming into being, and you end up with trees, metal ore, and chemicals. Go back even further, and you have the big bang (or God speaking the universe into being, take your pick). So the guitar that's showing up on my doorstep tomorrow was in the big bang, as was everything else that is, was, and will be. Everything was connected, is connected and cannot be truly independent of anything else, for everything has its origin in everything else.

So, does the dog have Buddha-nature? Mu is indeed the right answer, for the dog does and does not exist at the same time, and Buddha-nature does and does not exist. It's a pointless, and unanswerable question, because to fall into yes and no categories is to miss out on what is reality itself.

What in the world does this have to do with playing the guitar? Well, last night I got frustrated with my level of playing. After practicing several times a week, and some weeks every single night, last night's lesson had some highs and lows. I'm still working on the second solo from "Comfortably Numb," where there's a lot of changes in terms of 8th notes, 16th notes, and 32nd notes. So I had to go over this one segment again and again and again, and occasionally came to feel like the cover of this Clash album:

But after finally getting it right, I came home, chilled out, and read the book I mentioned above. And in the section on Mu, there was this quote by Bruce Springsteen. I don't have it with me, but The Boss basically says this, "When you play guitar, you have to hold a lot of contradictory information in your brain and make it all work at the same time. On the one hand, when I'm playing, I'm playing like it's the most important thing in the world. And it is. On the other hand, I know that it's only rock and roll. And it is."

Both / And. Neither / Nor. Just is.

Hope this makes sense.

By the way, does anyone know where I can get a decal of the Japanese script that I put up here? I think it would look great painted on my Epiphone!

Wish I Had This Shirt When I Was In Grad School!

2009-11-30T15:02:00.004-06:00

Back at Vanderbilt, I ran afoul of an organization called the Campus Crusade for Christ. Rabid little bunch, they were. One of their members made it her personal mission to "save" me from my misbegotten ways - when actually I was pretty well behaved at the time! Anyways, there were theological arguments galore and name calling ("Blasphemer!" "Loony!"). Always are, in situations like that.

At any rate, I saw this shirt today while killing time before I get to go home. If only I had this shirt in those days. Probably would have driven the poor, naive thing to madness! And that's something this pirate can get behind!

In case you're looking for something to get me for the holidays, you can find the shirt here.

This Pirate's Gone A' Plunderin'!

2009-11-30T10:44:00.001-06:00

15 minutes until lunch, so I figured I'd fire off a quick note as to why I'm dancing a jig today. First off, I think my cold has just about passed, and the weekend went very well. Add to that a Christmas bonus arriving unexpectedly early, and today's cyber Monday shopping spree, and you have one happy pirate!

After a brief misunderstanding regarding the allocation of gold with One Ring, I ordered a brand new guitar from Woodwind and Brasswind. Yes, I could have gone through Guitar Center, where I tested it, but I found out that Guitar Center is now owned by Musician's Friend, and after running into a world of frustration from them when my SG arrived with a slightly warped neck (and they wouldn't replace it due to it being a "discontinued item," but instead offered me a much cheaper model as an "even exchange." All of which is odd, since that was a year ago, and today I found the exact same package for sale!), I decided to go with another vendor. All of that to say is that the order's in, and hopefully within a week or so I'll be playing away on a guitar more suited for blues inspired rock (a'la Cream, Pink Floyd, and Eric Clapton). Here's a pic of the model I ordered:

Meanwhile, One Ring and I had one of our "craft dates," this time making things with polymer clay. We used to do this a lot, making Christmas ornaments and other things to sell at the church craft sale. But since we moved out here, we haven't done that as much. So yesterday we sat down. One Ring made a snowman (she loves snowmen!) while I continued my obsession with all things Elphaba (from the musical Wicked, in case you've missed a few previous posts). Here's the photos of my attempt and One Ring's success:

Anyway, happy cyber monday (get your online shopping done? I sure did, and picked up roughly half of One Ring's gifts!) And yes, I did pay for them, although the idea of pillaging, looting, etc. does sound good after trying to avoid crowds this weekend. Wonder what Wal-Mart would look like after receiving a few broadsides and being stormed by pirates? Ahh, what fun things to imagine!

Yep, It's Like That

2009-11-25T13:44:00.006-06:00

The President of the United States has just given all Federal Employees 59 minutes off today! Yes, 59 minutes. Not an hour, because apparently that would cause untold calamity over in accounting. So i am leaving in just over an hour! So despite the weirdness involved, I say:

Thank YOU, Mr. President!

I Don't Want to Work

2009-11-25T09:08:00.008-06:00

Not today, anyway. Had a rough night with the dogs - or rather, with just one dog, Kona. She has a habit of running outside (through the dog door) whenever she hears a neighbor's dog barking. Then she barks - loudly, I might add - for a few minutes until I guess she speaks her mind, then comes back inside. Normally this isn't too bad, but when I want to sleep, it's a pain. Especially when she does it over and over and over again.

So I'm here, at work, and on my second cup of coffee of the day. Nothing is scheduled, though I need to follow up on yesterday's clinic. Blech. I don't like some of my patients face to face. Now I have to call the ones that really screwed up on their drug screens? Double Blech.

I should have called this post "Attention Deficit Entry," because I've jumped from one thing to another when I should be writing this! Still, it could always be worse.

I was lucky enough to go guitar shopping last night while One Ring attended a meeting. I think I found one that will totally meet my needs / desires for the sound that I've been hunting for. I've really been influenced by blues inspired rock, a'la Pink Floyd, Eric Clapton (and every group in which he played - Cream, Derek and the Dominoes, etc.), and so forth. So I need a guitar that has at least two single coil pickups. I didn't want to sink the money into a Fender, since I'll never be able to afford an American one (over $1,000) and I haven't heard anything good about the Made in Mexico or China varieties. So I've been trying to find something with the right configuration for under $400 (the highest amount of money I can conceive that I can raise without hitting the credit cards). Here's what I found:

This is the Laguna 300AVB. It has everything I need - locking tuners, tremolo bar, single coil pickups (good ones, too!), and seems comfortable to play. Of couse, the finish isn't half bad, either. It's about $350, so it may take a few weeks to come up with the cash, but no worries. Rumor has it that I have a Christmas bonus coming, so I may be able to pick it up after the holidays. It's a guitar I can definitely grow into, since I forsee myself playing for some time to come.

And if that doesn't work, there's always this one. It's the Douglas (Chinese Clone of a Fender Fat Strat) SI-13. Cheap as all get out, but the reviews seem to be okay, and given my current skill level, might not be a bad choice. And at $109.95 - with a Floyd Rose tremolo and locking tuners, no less - it's ridiculously cheap. Probably too cheap, given that the body is made out of Paulownia wood, whatever the heck that is. Then again, maybe not. Here's what Wikipedia's entry says about some of its uses:

The fine grained soft and warp resistant properties also make Paulownia wood exceptionally suited for making wooden surfboards. Tom Wegener of Noosa, Australia, his brother Jon of Hermosa Beach, California, and more recently "Empress Surfboards" are amongst the shapers who pioneered its use. Unlike those made from balsa wood, the resulting surfboards do not need to be glassed.

More recently, it is used as body material for guitars . The light weight , and resonance of the wood make it perfectly suited as high grade tone wood .

And there you go. Well, I do need to get to work. Had a patient just walk in my office, disgruntled and blaming everyone but himself for his problems. Sheesh. Days like this make me wish I was back in the church ... almost.

Lots of Craziness Going On!

2009-11-23T14:59:00.008-06:00

But today, thankfullly, has been quiet. Which is great, considering that the last two weeks have been plain nuts. Not all of it has been bad, though. Just very, very busy.

Not a lot, in retrospect, seems worth reporting though. I went to see Queensryche (and no, I can't figure out how to put an umlaut over the y - the existance of which makes about as much sense as Motley Crue's umlauts) in concert at a local dive. Great show, and I did take some pictures with the camera in my cell phone, and I'll show them in a bit. However, I realized just how old I have become.

For one, I was only three or four rows back from the stage, which was awesome, however it didn't do much for my desire to keep the three foot personal space boundary line intact! Yeah, I'm a "keep your distance" kinda person. But I put that aside for the show. I last saw them around '92 or '93, and they were just as good then as now. But after standing around for an hour to get in to the club, then another hour to wait for the show, then three hours of music, my feet and legs were killing me! And when you've reached the point that pain outweighs the desire to see a favorite band play, it's time to call admit that your wild party days are behind you!

The other thing that got on my nerves was the amount of drunk people crammed into a really small place. Guess I have a low tolerance, being that I work with them and used to be one on many an occasion myself.

But again, great show and I did have a great time. Here are the pics:

First blurry photo of lead singer Geoff Tate. It's amazing how little his voice has changed over the years. Great stage presence. He also did an awesome job explaining the story behind their latest album, American Soldier, which sampled portions of interviews conducted with hundreds of servicemen and women who are serving or have served in every war from WWII to the current Iraq and Afghan conflicts.

This is a shot of rhythm guitarist Parker Lundgren, who is married to Tate's daughter. Guess making him part of the band is either a perk of marrying into the family or a way of keeping an eye on him!

And finally, this is a shot of Tate and a little girl who was rumored to be one of his daughters (he has 3), during a duet from the American Soldier album. It was cute, and although she looked like she didn't want to be there for most of the song, she got a lot of cheers and applause when she was done her solo.

So that was on the 11th. I had to be at work the next day, so I hurt like all get out. It was worth it, though. One week later, on the 19th, I taught a class at Vanderbilt Divinity School on the relationship between spirituality and addiction. Basically I lifted up a theory I have that spirituality is the first casuality of addiction, and that pastoral care providers need to be both vigilant and prepare to help addicts with their spirituality during recovery. I thought it went very well, and One Ring and her professor (who asked me to come and speak) echoed that sentiment. I enjoyed it alot, perhaps too much, because now it's hard to come back here, where by and large any contribution I make is ignored unless I'm bailing someone out of trouble. Yeah, that's cynical but I'm a government employee. Deal with it.

I talked with One Ring about it, and she stated that if I enjoyed teaching and wanted to go in that direction, we could work on me getting the additional degrees and training necessary. I told her that I'd look into it when she finished her dissertation. For the time being, though, that's taking top priority.

In the meantime, I'm keeping up with guitar lessons and other creative outlets that help me keep my sanity. Yes, I'm still working on "Comfortably Numb," but I'm on the second solo now, having proven that I can keep up with the CD during the first solo and chord progressions. This one, however, is a whole different creature and a monster. I'm also looking at getting a second guitar, this one with single coil pickups (like a Fender Stratocaster, for example), so I can get a more bluesy, clean sound than my humbucker equipped Epiphone SG-310. In the store the lowest price I've seen for a cheaper guitar that meets this requirement is around $200, but I've seen used guitars for about half that. So we'll see. One Ring isn't too keen on my spending more money right now, but I may be able to win her over. : )

This is one of the candidates that I was looking at here. It's a Yamaha Pac112J. My guitar teacher recommended it. Despite the low price, the quality is amazingly high, and with the humbucker in the bridge position you are able to play just about every style of music out there. The used music store just emailed me some pictures of it. I'm concerned about some scraping around the jack, but if it turns out that there's no wiring damage, this one is a front runner.

Okay, the day's just about over. More later.

Crafts and Spirituality

2009-11-09T08:58:00.006-06:00

It has occurred to me, now that Halloween is past (sob!) and life is returning to normal, that I haven't spoken much about spirituality, religion, or - gasp! - even piracy. While the latter could have been taken care of by mentioning developments in Somalia waters (kidnappings and continued harassment of shipping) or even my almost dressing up as a pirate for One Ring's colleague's Halloween party (that was nixed due to the outrageous prices of costumes and my constant nitpicking about historical accuracy), to be honest nothing much is going on in the pirate fandom world to warrant a post from yours truly. However, in the world of my crafts and hobbies, much has been happening, and since these can be related to spirituality, I figured I'd go off on that for a while, as it's Monday and I don't feel much like working (and I'm only working a half day due to a doctor's appointment. Woot!)

Back in the dark ages, when I was training at a Catholic retreat center in the art of Spiritual Direction, I approached one of my instructors with an issue that kept coming up. Due to my ADD, bipolar disorder, over caffeinated state, or just being weird, I found it hard to sit in silence and empty my mind of thoughts. In fact, there are many nights where I am unable to sleep at all due to "racing thoughts." For those of you blessed enough to not experience this, here's what it's like: Go to your the electronics section of your local Target, Sears, or Wal-Mart. Then turn all of the televisions and radios to different stations, remembering to also crank the volume up. Then sit back and enjoy the chaos. Yep. On a bad day, that's what it's like inside my noggin'. I say this not to inspire pity or sympathy, but rather to set up the wisdom of my teacher's instructions.

So what my spiritual director (all SD candidates had to receive direction while in training) told me was this: in order to quiet the mind, do something while meditating that will keep your hands busy. He then asked what I do for fun. I answered, "Origami and candle making." he said, "Great. Meditate while you're folding or sitting out there watching the wax melt."

And that's what I do. Now that the weather's cooled off a bit, and the candle shop / garage (after destroying two kitchens, One Ring no longer lets me melt wax in the house!) is tolerable, I've been setting things up for the holiday season. I made two pumpkin scented pillar candles and experimented with textures - one is mottled and the other is rustic in nature. This week I need to make some container candles for my in-laws to give as gifts, and one of One Ring's colleagues also put in a request for one or two. Add to that the ones that I want to make for the Christmas season, and I'll be pretty busy.

When I'm not making candles, I use origami to calm my mind. I've posted pics of some of the folds I've completed at work, and I've also posted the Haunted Mansion paper model that I've been building. Both activities have really helped me get the "monkey mind," as the Buddhists call it, under control. The concentration required keeps me in the moment, where I can experience life as it is, here and now, without being distracted by memories of the past and hopes and fears of the future.

So here's some of what I've done recently:

The lotus is, of course, a Buddhist symbol of enlightenment. I recently found the diagram online, and after a few days of making mistakes, finally figured out what I was doing wrong and got it right (origami works like that sometimes!). After doing a small one at work, I folded a larger one out of a 12"x12" square of mulberry paper that I picked up from the scrap booking section of the local craft store. The finished lotus was large enough for me to put a tea light holder inside. I thought it turned out pretty cool.

I had to convince One Ring that there was no danger of fire, since the candle flame did not come into contact with the paper, and paper won't ignite until it reaches 451 degrees F (Hence the name of the famous book, for all you trivia types out there!).

If origami is not your thing, Lord knows there are plenty of other activities that can calm the mind enough to allow the spirit to move. One Ring and I used to work with polymer clay and created Christmas ornaments and even a whole nativity set. For one reason or another, this activity fell by the wayside when we moved from one location to another. Probably the stuff got packed away and we forgot about it. We might not even have our clay and books anymore. But after seeing these on Deviantart by Shiritsu, I may very well give it another go! I love her cartoonish representations of movie and Broadway characters.

By the way, although crafts are good ways to quiet the mind, there's no reason why you can't do them with other people. One Ring and I regularly have craft dates or try to take classes at the local craft store, and as you saw recently, held a pumpkin carving party. It's a good way to connect with people as well as with your inner self.

Okay, back to faking work (or folding something!). Peace.

It's Over! : (

2009-11-03T09:12:00.007-06:00

Well, the Pumpkins were thrown out last night, leftover candy was sent off with my brother-in-law as a reward for his students, and One Ring is moving into her favorite holiday time of the year (Thanksgiving - apparently no gifts, no decorations, and working towards minimal drama makes it number one with a bullet). As for me, I'm in mourning.

It's not just that Halloween has passed us by for another year - and was once again almost eclipsed by the Christmas decorations which have been smuggled into just about every store I entered this month. It's just that, well, I think maybe I should have started the celebrations sooner, so I could have gotten more worked in. As it was, I spent most nights coming home from work, crashing, and thinking of what I would do if I had the energy, money, and time. Curse you, need for employment! You cause such a massive buzz kill!

So, I figure I'll do what other blogs seem to be doing in honor of the sad times: create a "best and worst of" list and talk about what I'd like to do if I get a promotion that's being talked about in mythic terms (It's coming, but we don't know when!). Here goes:

Best Movie: Trick 'r Treat. Close second, 1408. Both are scary without being gory -we don't do splatter horror. Unlike the chaplain with whom I work, the Saw movies are verboten in my house. Honorable mention goes to Ginger Snaps and Dog Soldiers. Both, in case you haven't heard of them, are werewolf movies. Le Pacte de Loupe (aka The Brotherhood of the Wolf) and Sleepy Hollow are also on my fave list, although I didn't get to them this year.

Worst Movie: Carnival of Souls. We actually saw this a few years ago, but it remains the worst horror movie I've ever intentionally seen during the Halloween season. The worst one we saw this year was The Innocents, followed closely by Let's Scare Jessica to Death - it was the ending that sent it straight into this category. Dishonorable mention goes to The Ninth Gate. Again, a confused ending and incredibly goofy glasses worn by the villian - played by Frank Langella - did this one in.

Geeky villians are so not scary! And his demise was one of the dumbest things I've seen in a horror movie.

Things I'd like to see more of in future Halloween celebrations: Better decorations. Yep, I'm one of those people who want people to decorate their yard in themes. I don't want to see someone's house look like a Big Lots truck overturned in their driveway! If you're going to have zombies come out of the ground, don't put a smiling scarecrow right next to them. And if you're going to spend the money on realistic looking headstones, try to make everything look realistic, and not place them side by side with cheap plastic ghosts.

I'm loving what people are doing in the DIY world of Halloween decorations (see links on the right), and part of the reason I love the Haunted Mansion in Disney World so much is that it's themed, and the quality of the displays is consistent. I think people should do the same. If you want a light-hearted theme, stick with it. Ditto with the gore factor.

Things I'd like to see less of in future Halloween celebrations: Ridiculous reality ghost hunting shows. Ghost Hunters (on the newly renamed SyFy channel) has been dinged repeatedly for faking hauntings, and I can only assume that all the other similar melodramatic programs - Most Haunted is by far the worst in my opinion (Hey, let's scream for no reason! That will help our ratings!) - pull the same stunts. Now we have Paranormal State and, get this, Extreme Paranormal, to add even more cheesy infrared camera shots and overblown stories of tragedies to our television diet.

Honestly, these shows come on every week, and every week they find "evidence" of ghosts and hauntings. Doesn't anyone out there find this suspicious? Sure, I could be swayed if evidence was found in one or two places every now and then, but everywhere, every time? With that kind of record, it stands to reason that ghosts and goblins and every other kind of supernatural being are crammed into every building, graveyard, nook and cranny of the world. Every person alive should be running into hauntings all the time. But we aren't. Which makes me wonder, with a very cynical mind, what's really going on here?

So let's tone those down, okay? And let's have the writers for those cheesy shows (and they do have writers, by the way - hmmm, wonder why?) create some scary fictional programming for us to watch. Just a thought.

Unfortunately, I need to get back to work. More later.

Best Horror Movie List EVAH!

2009-10-29T10:01:00.004-05:00

Only a couple of minutes before chaos once again consumes my office and my day, but I had to post this ASAP. I heard a piece about this horror movie list today on NPR during my morning commute and decided that linking to it was a must. Why? Two words for you, my friends, "Martin Scorsese." This guy is so cool he even turned a top ten list into a top eleven list! How anti-establishment is that???

Anyway, courtesy of The Daily Beast, is the list to end all lists. Enjoy.

My only dispute is with #10 - The Innocents. Sure there were plenty of creepy moments, and I never read the Henry James novella upon which it was based, but there was a huge logic jump by the protagonist that was never explained - how did she figure out what was going on? - and the ending didn't make sense at all. I would have left that one off. But hey, I'm not Marty Scorsese

Well, I DID Ask for a Quiet Day ...

2009-10-28T14:54:00.005-05:00

Nothing going on. I'm all set for tomorrow's clinic. The only interesting thing is that Drink Man just IM'd me and told me that he was quitting to take a job in Charleston, SC. Of course, we've been on this road before and he's backed down / cooled off each time. So we'll see if he's serious. Probably be a good thing, since he's had a lousy attitude which has been bringing me down.

Nope, it's just been the occasional bit of paper work, getting ready for clinic, and this, which I guess qualifies as a different kind of paper work.

According to the book - Crane Origami (translated by Yoko Ishiguro) - this is a "good luck crane." Though, to be honest, I've seen similar designs referred to as peacocks. Oh, well. I made it and it's sitting on my desk below my small Buddha statue.

Time for some caffeine. Heading home in an hour, and One Ring informed me earlier that the in-laws made it into town. So I have to be awake and on my game when I get home!

Peace.

Halloween Pumpkin Time!

2009-10-28T12:40:00.008-05:00

I am at work, and for once there is nothing going on. And there is much rejoicing. The Doctor is off doing her thing, Annoying Coworker hasn't shown his face too much since our last email battle over policies and procedures, and the boss is off at meetings. Even Drink Man is not in; he's stuck at home waiting on a plumber.

So that leaves me free and (relatively) stress free to post pics from last night's pumpkin carving party. The party was a huge success, although attendance was minimal due to illness and torrential rains - one friend pointed out that whenever One Ring and I host something, it pours. Odd. Still, we carved some awesome gourds, if I do say so myself. But first, a brag from yours truly - The Haunted Mansion model is just about complete!

There are a couple of cosmetic details that need to be added, and it would have been finished in time of the party, but what initially looked like two steps turned out to be roughly 24. So obviously the roof metalwork and some of the masonry was not added. Still, I was able to bring it out and show off.

That being done, it was time to carve up some pumpkins!

One of our friends decided to go old school, as in pre-Christian Celtic tradition of using turnips(the tradition changed to using pumpkins for Jack O' Lanterns when the Irish came to America)! We thought she'd be in for a fight, trying to cut faces into the little things, but she came out with an awesome trio of retro looking jack o' lanterns.

After a minor setback involving the gross discovery that his pumpkin had rotted from the inside and was now populated by a colony of fruit flies and other nasties, another friend switched to his backup - a "ghost" pumpkin. I had never seen one of these carved. Turns out that the interior is a light green, almost melon color. I have no idea if it tastes the same as a traditional pumpkin, and I wasn't about to find out. He followed another tradition - carving a face free hand with only his imagination and a knife.

One Ring joined me in chosing a design from this year's Pumpkin Masters books. I thought she did an excellent job, despite having a massive pumpkin that had extremely thick walls. I like the topic, as haunted houses and ghosts are a few of my favorite things!

I had trouble deciding which design to use at first; this year's designs were really good and there were a few from books we had bought over the last several seasons that looked great, too. But I finally decided on this one, which I thought captured the spirit of Halloween. When I imagine what a personification of Samhain (pronounced "Sow-win") looks like, this is kind of what I see. Of course, others have depicted Samhain in similar ways, so it's nothing original. Oh, I deviated from the traditional by using a craft pumpkin, which is essentially a styrofoam shell spraypainted orange. It is very thin, so carving is easier. The only downside is that I can't use candles in it, since it's VERY flamable.

All of these pictures were taken with my cell phone camera, which explains the poor resolution. One ring took several with our digital camera, and those pictures came out great. They're on my facebook page at the moment, and I'll try to copy them over here if I can remember.

Well, back to the grind. Hopefully more will be posted later.

Yes, I Am Still Alive

2009-10-27T10:08:00.003-05:00

Insert apology about not blogging and using this site primarily to locate bookmarks to other sites here. Add excuse about being exceptionally busy due to increased work load, fighting with annoying coworker (including an email war that ended late yesterday afternoon), and too many after work activities to list. Include rationalization that it's easier to put things up on Facebook than it is here. And sum up with a short dismissal, such as, "Sorry, but that's just the way things are."

So, with that out of the way, let's get back to the world that I know - it's Halloween time!

Tonight is our annual pumpkin carving party, and we're busy decorating, crafting, and preparing the gourds for destruction. The Haunted Mansion model is just about complete, with only one more, barely necessary addition required before it goes on display. We're expecting 6-8 people, and I'll be posting pictures when they become available.

Speaking of Halloween parties, if you get a chance, see Trick 'R Treat. I won't let on any more than this: we haven't been observing the holiday correctly, and Sam - short for Samhain, the spirit of the holiday - isn't happy. It's a collection of four wonderfully written intertwined stories that all have unexpected twists and turns. It's definitely the best horror film we've seen this season, followed closely by 1408 and Reincarnation.

I won't mention all the horrible films I've sat through this season, but I know I'm not alone in noticing that for every good horror film that comes out, there are hundreds of stinkers. Sad, really. You would think that film makers would invest in, I don't know, maybe scripts? Real scripts, written by writers who have talent? Doesn't seem to much to ask, but apparently it is. Oh, well.

Anyway, I'm going back to sharpening my sword, should Annoying Coworker decide to take another verbal swing at me. Just another day in paradise. I'll write more either today, should my schedule allow, or tomorrow, when I get the pictures of the party up.

Peace.

I Want Another Adventure ...

2009-10-16T14:19:00.003-05:00

... but I'm too tired!

Seriously, I'm exhausted. I guess I didn't sleep enough last night, or maybe the weather (rain and cold for the last several days) is finally getting to me. Either way, my productivity is way low and my desire to leave work early is way high.

There's a lot I could be doing - not all of it work related. I need to make a copy of the sheet music I've been studying for my guitar instructor (we're on the second solo of Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb!). I also smuggled in an origami book, mainly because I'm in desperate need of business card holders and paperclip boxes here.

Of course, there's always closing my office door and snoozing the next hour and a half away!

Today's payday, too, so that means online shopping for important items such as candle making supplies and various non essentials. Plus there's a bottle of rum that I tasted during last weekend's adventures in rural Tennessee (yes, Tennessee has a rum distillery! Only one, though). Trouble was, they couldn't sell it to me there (dry county, just like the one where they make Jack Daniel's whisky), so I need to find a liquor store where they sell it. So far, no luck, as the one right by my house only seems to carry Captain Morgan's, Bacardi, and Sailor Jerry. And since I want to drink rum and not set anything on fire, that leaves the last two brands right out! So it's off on an after work expedition to a couple of shops that I do not frequent.

Outside of the rum, though, there's nothing even remotely pirate-y going on in my life. And that's just too sad for words. Oh, sure I could dress up as a buccaneer for Halloween, but I prefer more ghostly related things for this time of the year. Oh, well.

Speaking of Ghostly things, I am almost finished with the scale model of the Haunted Mansion! Photos to come.

In the meantime, I'm going back to killing time and seeing if I can get off work in 30 minutes or less. It's like pizza delivery, only much better!

New Additions to the Link List

2009-10-09T15:42:00.002-05:00

Today was pretty hectic in the morning, but starting at noon it slowed to a crawl. So, naturally, I found ways to amuse myself by surfing the net and finding new links to put up. I took down several that were no longer fun to look at or had apparently gone defunct (I'm looking at YOU, Supernatural News!). In their place I put up several Halloween related sites that I happen to think rock - especially you're into the decorating / creating a haunted house side of the holiday. If you're just in it for the candy, then I'm afraid I don't have much to offer.

Here are the new stars of my link list:

Carnival of Souls is a blog that is also home to an awesome program called "Imagineerieing." Basically they've created a computer / video program to allow us non-tech geeks to have "magic mirror" effects ("Mirror, Mirror, on the wall ..." type stuff) on video screens that are part of displays. They also have a lot of DIY stuff that is cool to peruse.

Halloween Monsterlist is just that - a HUGE list of links to all kinds of Halloween decoration projects. Want to learn how to create moving ghost window displays? It's here. Want to make a backwards running 13 hour clock? It's here, too. Bubbling Cauldron? Bottomless Pit? Magical Fire? Yep, yep, and heck yeah.

How to Haunt Your House is a website based around a book. Or maybe it's a book that was written after the website. Anyway, they've got a book and an incredible site with video instructions and great ideas. Anyone who wants to buy me this book will be my friend for a long time to come.

And last, but not least, Ravensblight brings a couple of my favorite things together, Halloween and papercrafts. If the designs on Paper Model Purgatory are too complex (it's year 3, and I'm still not done with my Haunted Mansion model!), then you might want to take a look at Ravensblight. They have designs for toys, games, and party fortune telling games. They also have music, art, and short stories - all horror related and all free. Not a bad way to spend some free time this month!

So there you go. Now get out there and start creating something scary!

Oh, and if anyone can find a website that has Halloween and pirates covered, let me know.

Real Quick Note Before the Chaos Begins

2009-10-06T09:00:00.004-05:00

I've got a patient coming in just a moment, but I figured I'd fire a couple of items into the ether first.

Last night One Ring and I watched Reincarnation, a Japanese horror film which was directed by Takashi Shimizu - the same gentleman who created Ju-On (known in the West as The Grudge). Awesome flick, and definitely disturbing. In one of the bonus features, the director said that he wanted to show that while American horror films often show that a gruesome death is the worst possible outcome, there are worst things - especially when you take Eastern beliefs into consideration. Yeah, this one was CREEPY! Go see it.
Over in The Vault of Horror, B-Sol conducted a poll of writers, bloggers, and other literary (and non-literary) types to come up with a list of the scariest poems (yes, he considered poetry), short stories, and novels ever written. The end result is required reading for the Halloween season. So get out to your library or bookstore and start enjoying your sleepless nights!

More later, once the Hottentots stop running amok!